James Brown Ski Party

How Rad were the 60's? James Brown went to Ski lodges and showed the whitest people on the planet what cool looked like. And they're all "right on" and just go on sitting there, completely in control of their faculties. How is that? If I saw the Godfather of Soul blast through the door on a fucking dog sled I'd shriek like a squirrel monkey and slap my own tear-soaked face for seeing a thing of such terror. I wouldn't be ok. I'd be exactly like the dude in Fire in the Sky when he came back from getting abducted. While every one was busy dancing, I'd be under the kitchen table holding my legs, trembling. No. Too much awesome cannot be seen with human eyes.

Watching this makes me realize how far white folks have come in 40 years. At least we can clap on time now. These fuckers are awkward. It's like a Bjorn Borg house party recreated for a ride at Epcot Center.

(via Funky Junk Trunk)

Labels: Fondue Fondue I got you

"I'm the Whoo!!" featuring Ric Flair

This goes out to Kid Dammit and Matty, For truly loving the beautiful theater that is the spectacular world of professional wrestling..and to Ric Flair, for having the hair of a Victorian nobleman vampire and for being so enthusiastic all the time.

P.S: According to internet, the cat who did the Slap Chop remix did this too.
P.P.S: He's not literally a cat. I was trying to sound cool. Sorry.

Labels: Cocaine

Picture of the Day

Say what you will about Eugene Levy's Siberian second cousin Wladimir Levy. But know that he is more than a man with a Canadian tuxedo and a Riker's Island smile. He's a man of conflicting dualities. He's filled with a jarringly potent zeal for his pursuits and hobbies. Yet ironically, those loves of his life also plague him, haunting his soul like the 8-armed ghost of Lenin that chokes him in his dream every night for being a Western sympathizer. But life isn't all about keytars, pelting, and sex crimes. So every year, during the rising blood moons of the dark season, Wlad retreats to his family compound nestled deep in the bandit and wolf-plagued forests due east of the cursed sulfur mines of Petetrotsdokivalavakia. There, and only there, Wlad can be Wlad. And once that iron door is bolted, it's crying time.

Coincidentally, the compound happens to be the only place that the ghosts of Vidal Sassoon's modeling agency can properly be summoned through the haunted phonograph inherited from his dead uncle. (Who everyone knows was totally a vampire, but don't tell Wlad, he's sensitive about it. Keep that one on the D.L. Hughley, komrades.)

Labels: That hair is taking over his face like Glastnost bringing the ruckus on 1985 Kremlin politics

Fuck the B-b-b-b-bank!!!

Sweet Debate Skills

Labels: bored to death

Save the Pandas

What is it about pandas that turns ordinary zoo-goers into crazy cat ladies? Seriously people, you're extreme devotion is frightening these gentle creatures.



(elephant pandas via dailymail)

Labels: nice perp face

I wore the glove for weeks on end as a kid.

Rest in peace, you crazy genius. You invented the moonwalk, the music video, and did a lot of other things that are far more awesome than I can put into words.With the help of Ed McMahon I can only imagine the intro you're going to get when you meet the Chairman of Cloud City himself. But I'll always remember you fondly as one of the pioneers of monkeys for helping.

Oh, and let us not forget Bubbles. You are a monkey, but I salute you like a man of honor. How you managed to stay cool while MJ dressed you like Duke Leto Atreides is beyond me.

Labels: Heaven's house band just got a huge shot in the arm

Picture of the Day

I always knew there was a strong correlation between being Gangster and wearing Mom jeans. I finally have the proof I need to validate my theory. Go me! But the real winners in this picture are clearly Easy-E and Dre, simply for the fact that they have their own personal timekeepers. Look at them. They're flanking them like Imperial Guards watching Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader. And the ice jawed mean mugging is just preposterous. It's like they're having a coolest person competition and Cube and the other guy are their surly corner men with hearts of gold.

Call Brookstone, because I have a horribly impractical idea to pitch them. Don't front. You would Uzi babies to own a piece from the "Nightstands With Attitudes" collection. You don't need to be Billy fucking Mays to see the brilliance of it.

Labels: Showing ankle is always provocative

Lasers + Math = Science

My name is Recon, and I have a binge and purge relationship with internetting. It's the truth, Ruth. I'm like a nerd version of Karen Carpenter, minus the gigantic eyes and platinum records. (Editors' note: I think Karen Carpenter had Anorexia, and not Bulimia, which makes what I just said pointless. But that's the point, I guess. Flip it upside down and shake it till the crazy starts bubbling. This isn't a Science journal. Go laser up some math blogs if you want to read things based on logic, fact, reason, or purpose. Around these parts we call them the 4 elements of boredom. I choose instead to bear my heart to the world (fig. A), rules and regs be darned.

(fig. A: DMT? Greg Allman. Greg Allman? DMT.)

That's a bit harsh. Sorry, Science. Please don't strike me down with your demonic forces of devilry and witchfulness. I know you control everything. From the fingers on my paws to the synapses in my melon to the gold in my teeth..even down to the subtle yet profound sexiness lying just beneath the surface of my modest clothes. You are, unequivocally, the motherfucking force. So naturally I respect you, even if I don't fully understand or even like you. I know you connect us all, and bind us cosmically in a symbiotic relationship that defines explanation yet somehow makes sense on a sub-conscious, molecular level inside my weary man bones . You're like the mustaches and ties adorning the faces of the members of the 1976 Swedish music group we call Planet Earth.

In a nutshell, (but still outside the box), you're doing a great job, and studies done by studiers say that 9 out of 10 humans love you for it. Not to mention you are huge in the robot community. Which plays with nerds. So you see, we've come full circle. So everyone wins, including myself. And any game I win is the best kind of game. PS: lightning is awesome. Way to go with that stuff. I mean, wow.

Labels: rave magic is still real to me dammit

Breaking News

Poised for the Planets

Labels: nice gun

Real Life Mecha

Carlos Owens, an army mechanic in Wasilla, Alaska, has built his own giant robot mecha. He climbs inside and the robot mimics his movements using a system of steel cables and hydraulics.


I don't know about you but when creatures of anime start walking the earth, my first instinct is to build a 50s buzz cut dad style bomb shelter, stock it with Ding Dongs and wait out the inevitable fall of humanity. But, on that other hand, someone is finally prepared to tangle with Robosaurus when he escapes his handlers at the monster truck rally.

(via popsci.com)

Picture of the Day

Labels: the road is my dojo