Introduction to the show
I watched the European Music Awards over the weekend, and thoroughly enjoyed Borat ..Here are some of his memorable quotes from the show via Borat Online:
"Welcome to the 2005 Eurovision Song Contest."
Following Madonna's performance
"That singer before me. Who was it? It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite, he was very convincing. It was only his hands and his testi satchels that gave it away."
"Next is one of the most famous bands in the world. We all love very much. Please enjoy... Green Day!"
Introducing The Pussy Cat Dolls
"Please prepare yourself for masturbation because next are international singing prostitutes, Pussy Cat Dolls."
After introducing Akon
(Borat whispers to little Kazkhstani child), "quick Akon's on stage, dressing room 8. See what you can take."
Introduction to Gorillaz
"There is one singer called Shakira... sorry I laugh because in Kazakhstan this word means vagina. For example, 'Can I touch your shakira?' or 'I have seen your wife's shakira, it hangs like the mouth of a tired dog."
Introducing Green Day
(Borat is dressed in a very revealing wrestling lycra costume), "Hello it is me, Freddy Mercury. I joking, he die of AIDS. It me Borat, I not a la la loo lee. The only sex disease I ever have is gonoreah. 15 times! The ladies like Borat! Now please welcome Coldplay."
Chatting to co-presenter Brittany Murphy
"Very nice. Whah whah we whah! I imagine you with no clothes. Borat is getting fat."
At the press conference
"My 13-year-old son is travelling here by foot, with his two wives and his three childrens." "If he survives the journey I have promised him that he can make penetration with Colombian prostitute Shakira."
"I look forward to meeting Jennifer Rush, Level 42 and Terence Trent D'Arbay," "Oh and the Thompson Twins."
In interview with the BBC
"My retard brother Vilo is not able to come as he is retarded and his cage would not fit on the plane."
"Unfortunately my wife was unable to leave Kazakhstan as she is a woman... this is a good news, she is a boring. High Five!!!"
"We celebrate with a men's only party in my hotel room where we will play ping pong, wrestle totally nude and shoot dogs from the balcony."
To finish the show
"To the world, I love you! Apart from Uzbekistan. Assholes."
(And speaking of the EMA's, check out this awesome half live, half animated performance by the Gorillaz..)
(Via Borat Online)