These are two of my all time favorite skits from Will Ferrell.
Dissing Your Dog- Will Ferrell uses sarcasm to scold his pet. My favorite part:
"Oh, right, Margaret, you wanted prime rib. Here's the deal: The Palm wasn't taking reservations, and I didn't even try Morton's because I understand they have a new chef. So for now, let's just go with the Alpo, okay? I know it's not your first choice but keep in mind, you're a fucking dog!"