Picture Of The Day

Is it just me, or has the Wu Tang Clan lost it's edge?

(thanks to the Mantis for sending me this!)

King of Slack

Oh man, it's been a few days, truly sorry about my blogslackness. I just got back from STL yesterday, found 100+ emails to go through, and lots of stuff I put off all weekend. I got a final tomorrow, a presentation due, booku homework, gotta see War of the worlds, do a meme for Devo, and prepare for my B-day on Friday in NYC. I'm growing a fantastico mustache to celebrate. It's my little gift to myself. I promise I'll be back with the full ape magic soon. I swear to the monkey gods. In the meantime, here are some amazing pics from the awesome Kaiju blog and Japanhero sites. I'm not lying when I tell you that I like Japanese monster heros more than my family. Myself included.

Picture of the Day

I couldn't leave without sharing this...Koko is such a boozebag. I've definetely done the "one more" sign many a night. But when I do it the bartenders don't look paralyzed in fear like this guy does. He looks like he did a dirt in his pants.

On the road again

Well I'm off for the weekend..I'm driving to St. Louis to visit the Angel of DC, aka Mr. Awesome..What am I going to do? hmm. I plan on wrestling with the Casino god Gamblar as much as possible, do some fishing, eat some good food, and watch some boxing..I'll see you all on Monday...peace!

Picture Of The Day

This is a pic from the presumably awesome Hindi movie Koi Mil Gaya, a sci-fi musical in which a loveable Alien named Jadoo gets trapped on earth and inevitable wackiness ensues. I really really really want to see this. If just to watch an little blue alien in a orange pimp suit dance to Bollywood songs. It's all about Jadoo, baby. E.T. takes the bus.

Rosey Grier's "Needlepoint for Men"

I found this on Boing Boing earlier today...It's Former pro-football player turned minister Rosey Grier's book called "Needlepoint for Men."

Man. Talk about being secure in your sexuality. Being in the NFL must have been hard enough with a name like Rosey. But to write a book on needlepoint? Badass. This guy takes cool to a whole new level.

What room wouldn't be complete without a magnificent Samurai throw pillow? Or this all-purpose pillow delightfully designed with the face of an old timey crim on it with a cartoon bomb...Truly Amazing.

POW!!!!

I'm sorry, I just couldn't help sharing. Poor lady. But man, this guy is one devoted athlete. You could put a whole flock of pretty european ladies in his way and he'd take them all down. Nothing can stop him. He has the eye of the tiger. And I really like the Wesley Snipes in Demolition man look. nice.

Picture Of The Day

I love Bollywood. Not only are the movies filled with song, dance, and action, their posters are fantastic. I look at this and can't figure out what the movie is all about. Is it a horror flick? A romance film? This guy is either crazy, in love, or both. What else could make a person yell so loud that windows explode?

(found here)

Hoff Airlines

David Hasslehoff. What can I say about this man that the world hasn't said already. Son of the devil. Master of the man-perm, and mustache. Brilliant thespian. Devoted lifeguard. Singer. Eskimo Impersonator. Knight Rider. Germanic cult figure. You name it, he's done it, smoked it, slept with it, mastered it, or ruined it. He is a blitzkrieg of style and artistic talent. A Renaissance man with a Malibu tan.

And now, thanks to the ingenuity of the folks over at The Knight Foundation, he has become a paper airplane.

(Click Hoff plane to get your own..)

I wish I worked in a cubicle environment just to able to whip these at all my co-workers every day. The pure joy I would get from seeing the stunned faces of my fellow drones witnessing a Hoff fly by would be well worth the agony of a 9-5. This reminds me of amazing social experiment "Jeff Glodblum is Watching You Poop" (fig. a) but fully loaded with hellspawned Hoff power. Genius.

Fig:A: "jgiwyp"

(Click the Blum to let him watch you!)

Now go to work tommorow and unleash the power of Hoff on your unsuspecting coworkers!!

Picture Of The Day

This is a picture of Angel The Chimp, a celebri-monkey from Hollywood. When she isn't being chased by relentless Paparazzi, she likes to "eat bananas, apples, oranges, grape popsicles, and ice cream." It's amazing. Celebrity is pretty crazy. Even the monkeys have cell phones and groupies.

Sheer Tom Foolery

I am so sick of Tom Cruise these days. Everywhere I look I see him. Whether he's jumping around like a retarded monkey on Oprah or getting water squirted in his 500 million dollar grill, he is omnipresent.

But why? I have no idea. Are we this desperate for news these days? America is at war and all I see on TV is missing white women, Michael Jackson and his stupid fucking umbrella, and Tom Cruise acting like a douchebag.

So what's going on with TC these days? Maybe he's really in love. I doubt it. I think its somehow involved with some kind of Scientology plot (fig. A) I can't figure out. Those guys are like the Illuminati of Beverly Hills, and they are up to something. Do movies like War of The Worlds and the new Batman really need this much free press for their stars? Last time I checked, Steve Spielberg managed to do OK at at the box office. And I'm pretty sure Batman Begins just made the GDP of Switzerland in it's opening weekend.

(figure A: "Scientology")

For shame, Katie Holmes. You should have never left Dawson's creek. That guy with the huge head really seemed like a nice fellow. I bet he wouldn't have made you join a evil cult to be his special lady. According to Defamer, Cruise said regarding Katie's crossing over to the darkside "Listen, the thing you've got to know about Katie is that she's an incredibly bright and self-determined woman. She makes her own decisions."

Yeah, right. Tell that to Scarlett Johansen.

"Cruise made repeated phone calls to the 19-year-old starlet- who was then set to co-star with him in Mission Impossible III—imploring her to meet him at the Scientology Celebrity Center in L.A. But when the actress finally agreed, the supposedly professional get-together took an oddly spiritual turn. "[Cruise] took me into this room, which was stifling hot, and was showing me all kinds of info about joining the church," Johansson told our source. "The whole time he didn't even offer me a cookie!"

After two hours of proselytizing, our source says Cruise opened a door to reveal a second room full of upper-level Scientologists who had been waiting to dine with the pair, at which point the cool-headed ingenue politely excused herself."

WTF? What kind of bullshit courtship is that? Come over to my Cult headquarters and have dinner with the boys? Holy hell. Get a grip, maverick. I remember back in the days of thunder, you were the top gun. A legend. You had all the right moves. You used to look up and see a vanilla sky, but now your eyes are wide shut. Be careful. This fleeting game of love is a risky business. Religion and romance is a dangerous cocktail that only a few good men can pull off.

Anyway, I had to get that off my chest. Maybe my Thetans are out of whack. I should go get a Purification Rundown with some high-toned beings to fix all these engrams running through my reactive mind..

Smurfs: The Epic Mini Series

Will Ferrell, you are a genius. I hadn't seen this and thought I'd share. It's an SNL commerical for a live epic mini series "the Smurfs" starring Al Pacino as Grumpy Smurf, Sean Connery as Papa Smurf, and many more.. Check it out here..

And here is another Will Ferrell skit I love: Neil Diamond: VH1 Storytellers. So slanderous. I like it almost as much as the more cowbell sketch. So wrong, but so right. I bet Neil has a dark past.."I'll smack you in the mouth, I'm Neil Diamond!". Awesome.

(Found on Milk and Cookies)

Paintings by chimp outsell Warhol, Renoir at auction

(AP) London- Monkey business proved to be lucrative Monday when paintings by Congo the chimpanzee sold at auction for more than $25,000.

One of three abstract works up for auction in London, painted by Congo in 1957.

The three abstract, tempera paintings were auctioned at Bonhams in London alongside works by impressionist master Renoir and pop art provocateur Andy Warhol.

But while Warhol's and Renoir's work didn't sell, bidders lavished attention on Congo's paintings.

An American bidder named Howard Hong, who described himself as an "enthusiast of modern and contemporary painting," purchased the lot of paintings for $26,352, including a buyer's premium.

The sale price surpassed predictions that priced the paintings between $1,000-$1,500.

"We had no idea what these things were worth," said Howard Rutkowski, director of modern and contemporary art at Bonhams. "We just put them in for our own amusement."

Congo, born in 1954, produced about 400 drawings and paintings between ages 2 and 4. He died in 1964 of tuberculosis.

His artwork provoked reactions ranging from scorn to skepticism among critics of the time, but Pablo Picasso is reported to have hung a Congo painting on his studio wall after receiving it as a gift.

"There's no precedent for things like this having been sold before," Rutkowski said.

(Thanks to Mog for sending me this)

Crack open the blogohol

Hello internet, and greetings fellow bloggerians. I'm Recon. I just left Tblog, and since all the cool kids are coming here, I decided to drink the kool-aid. To all of you who managed to make it from my old site, I'm glad you made it. I hope it's as craptacular as you remember.

Thanks to friend Rinna's design and the wonders of Science and Technology (fig. A) I'm up and running. I still gotta fix some issues with text and layout, but it should be good by weeks end. I gotta say, HTML is hard! Holy christ my head hurts. There are 8 year old hackers in Thailand creating superviruses on cell phones and I can't even change the color on my blog without feeling like bugs are chewing my brain. I feel like Chekhov when Ricardo Montalban put that cockroach in his ear in The Wrath of Khan..

(figure A: "science & technology")

So bear with me while I get the site pimped out. In the meantime, for those of you new here, check my old site out. And if anyone knows a HTML wizard, summon them for me!

Under Construction

Still tinkering away...Very soon this battlestation will be fully operational...but until then..