In the tradition of Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris, here are some random facts about Steven Seagal I enjoyed...
In a fight between Batman and Superman, the winner would be Steven Seagal.
Steven Seagal opened Pandora's box. It shut itself out of fear.
If Steven Seagal is late, you better slow the fuck down.
Steven Seagal can touch MC Hammer.
When babies are born, doctors usually slap them in the butt so they will cry. When Steven Seagal was born, he karate-chopped the doctor in the face to make him cry. He never stopped crying. Ever.
Steven Seagal can cook better than your mom.
Steven Seagal does not believe in God. God believes in Steven Seagal.
People die in their sleep when they dream of Steven Seagal.
Steven Seagal doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
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