Friday, February 16, 2007

Awesomely Awful Local TV Ads


I've said it once, said it twice, so I'll say it thrice. Nothing is sweeter than local commercials. There really needs to be a website that archives the thousands of fabulously shitty camcorder TV moments like the following.

Most TV salesmen come off like they would club a room full of newborn puppies to sell you something. I suppose these two gentleman probably would as well, but they most likely are too too busy living deep in outer fucking space.

First we have Sammy Stephens, and his "Mini Mall Rap". Here's the message: Montgomery Flea market is just like a mini mall. There. You just got the whole song. Now watch the fabulous ad lib dance routine, savor the sugary catchiness, and try making it through the day not singing it. I want to dance, dammit. Dance until my eyes bug out of my head.

Now watch "The Family Man" get totally crazy person banannas selling America's shittiest cars. I think his plan was to use his wacky antics and animated husky shenanigans as a smokescreen to cover up the incredible mediocrity of his merchandise. No matter, anyone who does cartwheels to win your affection gets both of my opposable thumbs up.

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