Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Poised for the Planets

via cache.io9.com

I'm sorry but I simply cannot allow this image to pass down the tumbleblog conveyor without comment. It took me a good five minutes and some ice water to the face to even begin to appreciate what's happening here.

To start, what the hell was the person who designed this cover listening to because it sure as sherbet wasn't The Planets. A little disco, a little go-go, some Egyptian gear, mix in some heroin... yeah that sounds about right for a grandiose orchestral suite.

But, most striking is the pizazz with which Gustav successfully deploys the rare but effective knee high sandals. A lesser man, such as myself, would never think it possible to pull off that look but combining it with blue tights and pink leotard? I applaud you, sir.

I do have one minor qualm, Mr. Holst. Did you have to hit Charlize Theron so much? After all, an actress as good as she is should be able to capture the spirit of "The Planets" without so much abuse. I understand the whole method acting thing but I don't think she even knows where she is anymore.

On the off chance that you're cognizant, Charlize, there is one thing I must say. If you're going to flash me, then go ahead and flash me. Don't think that you're going to get away with the half-flash by wearing tan tights, panties that cover "just enough", and a skirt merely for back up. You're not fooling anyone. I mean wearing a short skirt is coy, wearing your skirt like a belt goes quite beyond that. On the subtlety scale, that move rates a solid Michael Bay.

(via cache.io9.com)

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