I Heart Computer.

Ay yay yay..this summer is making life crazy topsy-turvy bananas. I'm just super busy, I guess. Which is weird. And life is suddenly full of crossroads and choices my small brain isn't equipped to process. Oh, the drama. I feel like an uber-douche from my own personal version of "The Hills". Except unlike Spencer Pratt, God doesn't hate me and wish I'd fall off a Malibu cliff to be eaten by sand sharks. I wish the doppelganger I created of myself would do the fucking job I pay him to do and blog like a good doppelganger ought to. But no. Instead he just stays in and uses up electricity, running the air conditioning and playing my godamned Xbox while I'm out working like a hooker during Fleet Week. I suppose that's exactly what I'd do, so he is actually a fairly effective doppelganger. Damn you, science. If you weren't wearing those smart person glasses I'd slap that hyper-intelligent face of yours.

So here's some randomness I've enjoyed recently..please forgive the slowness of the posts lately. This blog moves like I dance. In random bursts of disjointed nonsense.

Everything you need to know about Judo in 30 seconds:

The Vader crew rocking the fresh Mike Jackson moves:

Joe Pesci as a foreign bike saleman:

A large group of over-caffeinated white people that should be crushed up into powder and smoked for energy:

Best new reason for having a baby:



Pumpers need to pump pump

Top notch douchebag of the new millennium

Send Barack your baby

I am neurotic

Mini Michael Jackson:



Bruce Lee, Rave Jedi:



The perfect gift for your God-loving 12-year-old Commie nephew:



And here are some of my suggestions for the future leaders of the country:

President: O-Breezy



VP: Al Geezy



Secretary Of Defense:




Secretary of Trans-Gender Relations and Mustaches:



Secretary of Posing:



Secretaries Of Sausage, Coins, and Pretzel Products:



Secretary of Horses:



Secretaries of Pirate Shirts, Hair, And European Relations:



And of course, my pick for Secretary Of Awesome:

More to come...if not, feel free to do this to me.



Take that, John Stamos.

(hat tips for the randomness boosted from JJ.am, myconfinedspace, Afrojacks, asylum, yayhooray, blort, pop.urls and katastrofalaomslag)