Saturday, January 14, 2006


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Happy 2006 people! I know I've been gone a while, but I promise I had good reasons. I promise I'll make it up to you with a cornucopia of the freshest stupidity you've ever seen. This year I plan on lowering the bar even further. Hopefully by year end, all my posts will be no longer than haikus, and every picture/clip I post will make you feel like you swallowed a bag of angry African bees. The crack team of scientists that live in my basement are working around the clock to find an even more offensive orange to use for the background on my site. Plus, I have an elite unit of 90 pound, chain-smoking Thai hackers scouring the interweb for the most retarded things the nerd world has to offer. 2006 will be a great year, monkiacs. If dumb were food, this blog will be like the local Chinese buffet that serves the dope ass crab rangoons and General Tsizzao that makes you lie on the floor moaning with your pants unbuttoned feeling like you took a shot of dirty heroin with a one-eyed street hooker named sparkles. Hollabak, internet.

So here are some things I found the last few days to tide you over till next week...

Following up on my Tokusastu post, check out this list of clips of Japansese retardo-awesomeness I stumbled on. I had to stop watching 4 clips in because my jaw was sore from self-punching..Check it out HERE..Also, watch these fantastic Lion Maru clips!!

Anyone Remember Mike Tyson's punchout? then check out this Live action Punch recreation from the NES days HERE..

Check out Alice Cooper singing "Welcome To My Nightmare" on the Muppet Show..WTF?

Check out this Italian Anchorman bugging the fuck out on the air..Peep how his co-host winces..anyone care to translate?

I know this is years old by internerd standards, but I just had to post it. This kid is Pokemon king. I want to adopt his ass and give him a pokemon crown. This kid fucking rules. Check it out HERE..

And if any readers happen to be citizens of the great state of Minnesota, PLEASE get out and vote for Jonathan the Impaler for Governor..Need a reason? Read this snippet from his site: I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares." I'm fucking sold...Check him out HERE..

And finally, did you know that Jean Claude Van Deezy was an extra in the pivotal breakdancing flick "Breakin?" Well here's the proof! Bear witness to the Van Damage!!!! (Thanks Mantis!)


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