Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Let It Be: The Red October Remix

These days it's Beatles this, and Beatles that. And I'm fine with it. Mostly because they're fucking great. One could even go as far as to call them the Beatles of popular music.

But never before has a cover of "Let It Be" been so grizzly, saturated in Vodka, and straight fucking gangster as this gem of Soviet glory. Open your ears and take it in. Komrade Krunk, Homski. Feel it.

Now stop feeling, you sensitive American swine.

(via BoingBoing)

Monday, September 28, 2009

There's a Kung Fu fight inside my brain.

I became a citizen a few years ago, and Uncle Samuel just got around to snail-mailing me a old-timey paper style form to fill out for jury duty. And this powerful Zen koan was posed to me as question #2:

#2: Can you understand and communicate in the English language?

I just wanted to share because it's the deepest thing I've been asked in years. I haven't been so confused since the last time I was this confused. I'm trying to remember when that was but I'm too fucking confused by all of this! Damn you, Samuel! Your devilish mind tricks continue to taunt me. I'll have to ruminate about this one for a while.

In the meantime I should just stop thinking about it and enjoy my shaved ice.

(BTW, if you haven't realized it by now, these guys are the Alpha and Omega of the Awesome Omniverse. Take a look at those mugs..can you honestly truly say that you have ever been that fucking happy in your entire life? I'm leaving a note for myself to remind me to Google-stalk these dudes. I want to hold them for ransom to the Shaved Ice Corporation until they tell me the secrets of universal bliss they obviously possess. If they refuse I'll cut them a check and hire them as my personal joy and well-being technicians.)

After thinking about the question posed earlier, my answer is "No"... with a hint of "Yes"... and then more "No". So Sam (if that is your real name), why don't you take that, make it into a sandwich, wrap it up in an American flag print picnic napkin, and proceed directly to getting the fuck out of my business. God you're nosy.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Best Turkish TV Freak Out You'll See Today

Work is kicking my monkey butt all over the place. I wonder all the time..how nice would it be to just let the crazy fly? How refreshing would it be to forget all the rules of society that separate us from our animal friends and just fucking GO for it? Watch this mustachioed champion shake his Eurasian tail feather down to freaky deeky town and tell me he isn't made of the stuff of legend. He won my heart like a giant stuffed monkey at the state fair. I'd totally hug him if I wasn't so sure he'd stab me for it.


Creeps of the 1980's

Friday, September 11, 2009

Candy or Medicine

But, can't it be two things? Come on science you guys need to make some candy that is medicine. I can not be the first person to think of this.

Have trigeminal neuralgia? Try a smartie.

(via university of virginia)