Monday, June 30, 2008

Super Stooges

I don't even care if this is an actual movie; the trailer alone is so awesome that it's giving me vertigo.

If there was any justice in the world, this piece of cinematic gold would sweep the Oscars. Especially these categories:

Best Ethnic Mix of Protagonists
Most Ridiculous Weaponry (People Powered Super Tanks)
Best Use of Slide Whistle Sound Effect
Best Combination of Zorro Mask, Cape and Short Skirt

(via crazyjapan)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Picture Of The Day

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This my friends, is Wayne Cochran. I read about him on PCL Link Dump. They call him the White King of Soul. And he's so fucking boss it's making my face hurt looking at him. Look at his hair. Seriously. Just look at it! It's the most amazing thing I've ever laid eyes on. It looks like fucking Hurricane Katrina. I feel like it could beat me in a fistfight. I can't even believe it doesn't have it's own name. It's like a monster with a man growing out if it. I could go on and on and on. If I was Wayne, I'd only write songs devoted to my own magnificent pompadour of oblivion. And there's no doubt in my mind that I'd cry myself to sleep at night hoping I could someday win its love. Move over Gary Spivey. There's a new king in town. Holleratyourboy.

James Brown and Little Richard on Wheel of Fortune


Check out the Godfather of Soul rocking out with Little Richard on The Wheel back in the day. Oh yeah, and Weird Al is also in the house. Can I get a W, T, and an F Pat? Those three could have made a wickedly strange album together. Weird Al aside, watch the dynamic duo break a sweat trying to solve clues that brine shrimp would find obvious. It's so jive that they put them on the same team. After watching them play you can see why. Golden legends of awesomeness? Yes. Good at the game of Kings? Hell fucking no.

M.I.A. Paper Planes


By now this song is probably firmly embedded in your subconscious, but it's still the hottest song I've heard in a long time so I figured I'd post the video. And If you haven't heard it, enjoy. Certifiable dope shit. Can't shake it from my brain. It's like a virus. But good.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Flickr gave me the Gasface

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So yeah, I haven't been posting lately as you can probably tell. The reason for it is this: The other day Flickr deleted my account for apparent violation of community rules without warning me, and I subsequently lost 4 years of pictures (and most pictures I posted on this site) effectively making my archives a blank slate. To quote Willard Shakespeare, holy fucking shit in a handbag. Anyway, I'm about to start the process of replacing the posts (all 1300+) with pictures I managed to save, but suffice it say the fucking wind was knocked out of me and I had no inspiration at all to post for a while. I'll be posting again this week, now that I've cooled down a bit. That being said, I'd thought I'd draft a sternly worded letter for venting purposes as well as your amusement...

Dear Mr. Flickr,

Cheers from the desk of yours truly, your formerly loyal customer! How are things? I hope they are the exact opposite of how things are here. Well technically I wasn't an actual customer, seeing as I was leeching storage space with my free account, but for the sake of our friendship let's not get into the details. Don't be a stickler, Mr. Flickr. No one likes a know-it-all.

Thanks a bunch for deciding to delete all my stuff! Wow. As a gift for your swift deletion of my photos, I'd like to make you an offer. Please, on behalf of me and all the others who trusted your site to host pictures of monkeys, German folksingers, retro robots, and other assorted strange things pilfered from the internet, take the time and go somewhere nice, perhaps with a loved one, find somewhere secluded and relaxing. Then lie down. Relax, take your shoes off. Once you are comfortable and content, please go ahead and fuck yourself. That's right. Fuck you and your salad fork crew, you pasty-faced, rule-loving automaton. I hate you more than Ghandi hates violence. I hate you more than Indiana Jones hates snakes. I hate you more than Amy Winehouse hates clear thoughts. I hate you more than dogs hate vacuum cleaners. I hate you more than that guy who hates everything hates things. God damn you, you internet soul-raping maggots.

But I mean that in the nicest way possible, Mr. Flickr. You see, we go way back. I feel like you’re one of the family. You remind me of my second cousin the angry drunk who flicks cigarette butts at babies. Except he has redeemable qualities, and I'm pretty sure you're the worst times forever times infinity. So while I'm replacing the thousands of pictures on my little blog, I'll make sure that every night I pray to the God of intertubes that your computer comes alive and eats your brain and face. Sorry my pictures of Swedish record covers and Bollywood stars shocked and appalled you. Clutch the pearls! How provocative! I suppose if I had 1200 snaps of stratus clouds, my cat wearing asshole glasses, or glossies from my totally elite Billyburg graffiti adventure I'd be ok to rock out with you awesome masters of all things cool. But I'm not. So I'm sad. I think I'm going to drink poison because of you. Then I'll die, and haunt your family during the holidays. No game of Yahtzee with your presumably awful family will ever be the same again. Get ready. I'm going to scare the shit out of you for the rest of your life.

In closing, I'd like to say thanks. Hoping you have a bitchin' summer, and I'll see you on the beach brosef! Keep in touch, BFF!

Your truly,

Mr. Recon

(P.S: By "the beach" I actually meant "Hell"..sorry about that!)

(P.P.S: Just kidding. Can I have my pictures back?)

(P.P.P.S: Just kidding to the just kidding. I'd rather get gored by a bull in the eyes than ever use your service again.)

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Socko Rocko

I feel ill thinking about just how awesome Johnny Sokko and his Flying Robot must be.

And not just "take a tylenol" ill. I mean full on "flying kick to the reproductive organs I'm bleeding internally get the doctor over here STAT" ill.


Yup. This show is the balls. Here's the intro:

(The link above takes you to several episodes of the show hosted by hulu.)

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Grapes Will Whoop Your Ass

I have no idea what these news reporters are saying, as this clip is in a very non-English language. But at about :20 in, the dapper fellow conducting the interview employs a universally understood exclamation for "oh fuck!" He couldn't have made a better noise if he TRIED!

It reminds me of the gutteral and uncontrolable noises this reporter unleashes after falling off a grape-stomping platform (:56 into the clip).

The lesson here: grapes will whoop your ASS!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Picture Of The Day


It's so on.

(via Dr.Odio)

Macho Man On Arsenio


Watch the honorable Randolph Savage doing his thing on Arsenio Hall back in the WWF golden years. Top notch. Morgan Fairchild is sitting next to him. He shows her his championship belt, his guns, and calls her by her full name repeatedly. It's perfection. (KD and Matty, this one's for you.)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Drunk Wrestling Fan: 1, Lady's Face: 0


When this lady woke up the day this aired I bet she didn't think "I wonder if a fat bearded yokel will grab me by my face and french me today?" Well if she did, she's the fucking Nostradamus of crappy local news reporters. Sir, you look like Santa Claus on a Moonshine bender. Please pull it together. I love your hat, though. Looking at it makes me feel like I sniffed a line of uncut America.

Vader Force Bowling


Call him a cheater. I dare you.

(via yayhooray)

3 Movie Posters And Their Busted-Ass Foreign Equivalents




Raiders and Cujo look like a kid who eats paint chips drew them, but with the exception of the Beetlejuice head they fucking nailed the Van Damme one. Props.

(via Dr. Odio via PCL Link Dump)

Wale Vs. Justice: W.A.L.E.D.A.N.C.E.


I was checking out URB, and read about this dude named Wale (pronounced Wah-Lay), a rapper/Go-Go artist from D.C. that has tons of buzz around him, so I downloaded his Seinfeld inspired mixtape called "The Mixtape About Nothing" and am absolutely loving it. This dude is clever, pretty damn funny and has genuine skills. (Download/stream the mixtape here.) So when I stumbled on this Wale remix of Justice, I had to check it. Pretty damn dope. Any master of ceremonies who claims to "acquire more broads than Zachary Morris" gets the MC cool guy 2000 award for sure.

Mario, you are NOT the father!


This never gets old. Ever.

(via Afrojacks)

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Either way George is Boss

Mario Facial Hair Chart


Django Reinhardt is up there. Right fucking on.

Bad Maths

If you're going to fail, the least you can do is to fail in an unexpectedly elegant way.

(via FailBlog)

Bill O'Reilly's Producer (Unseen Footage)

I just can't get enough of this O'Reilly thing. His anger and vulgarity are like ignorance soup for my soul. Thankfully the fine men and women over at Barely Political put together this hilarious video of Dirty Bill's producer answering back and calling him a Troglodyte among other things. Absoulutely fucking brilliant.