Thursday, November 29, 2007

Poor Baby

Why is it so damn entertaining to watch the head shaking disgust of these babies? Whatever the reason, it's even more amusing to think that these kids parents get a kick out of it too. If I had a kid, I'd definitely make him eat lemons for every house guest and family friend that came by. One stupendous whammy face, coming up.

(via milkandcookies)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

China on the Mic

If slang has taught me anything, it's that pimpin' is easy, Chinese math is hard and you've got to keep it real.

So, what happens when Chinese pimps try to keep it real? Is it easy or hard? Luckily, I stumbled onto this documentary which answered this question and so much more.

(via neatorama)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Style of the Day

In the heady days of the 80's, fashion designers used colors that have never been used before or since. These days, one rarely sees clothing so majestically displays sock or the location of the knees. Another temporal phenomenon unique to that time was the singular excitement that girls got from "sporting" a side pony tail. Hey, everyone! My head is disturbingly asymetric!

(via adflip)

Monday, November 12, 2007

Picture Of The Day


Walken SNL- Connie Stinson Talks


I've been looking for this clip for a long time.. apparently after it originally aired it was subsequently pulled from all re-runs. After watching it I can see why. Walken says the things in this. What he calls the audience is so funny I almost peed my nerdpants.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Rap Represented In Charts And Graphs


(click pic for more!)

(thanks Ted!)

David Elsewhere - Detours


Check out the original rubber band man David Elsewhere doing his thing in this clip from the movie "Detours". His robot is so fucking good it's like a robot doing the robot.

Children, You're Doing It Wrong




Yes monkeys, I have writers block. (shout outs to Unbeatable and Ms. Q..this blog would be Patrick Swayze in Ghost if it wasn't for you these past weeks).Writer's block is funny. Especially because I usually say almost nothing. So I figured I'd write the blockage away by attempting this experiment in stream of consciousness. Don't worry, this blog won't become a sounding board for my face-punchingly boring existence. Just think of it like a poorly executed stand-up routine with no good jokes or awesome puppets. The only puppet is me.

So here are some things I thought of recently:

I think the dark Side of the moon is up to something sinister.

Sometimes I thank God that the hacky sack is no longer popular.

Call me a fat dreamer, but someone should have a stand where they sell McDonald's fries and Burger King's burgers.

Osama Bin Laden is like a baby pigeon. You know he's out there, but you sure as hell can't find him. Also, pigeons hate America.

Question: What do Goths do on Halloween? I bet whatever they do, they pout while doing it.

Mickey Rooney is still alive and that is fucking insane.

Historical figure who I wish I could have a fist fight with: Thomas Edison. He invented electricity, which is the thing that powers my 24-hour a day air condioning habit, which is the reason I pay a small fortune for power. So I hold a huge grudge against him. Screw you, Edison. Any time, any place, you old dead bastard.

I met a stutterer the other day and subconsciously began to stutter in response to his stutteringness. I bet God thinks I'm an asshole.

Speaking of assholes, doesn't Eva Longoria look like a Gelfling from The Dark Crystal? That movie scared the shit out of me as a child. I also thought I was a robot and ate pennies, so that isn't saying much.

This is how to properly shake hands:


This is a haircut that could overthrow evil regimes:


which would look fabulous with colorful stretch terry coordinates:


This is how to punch a snake:


This is how not to make a cake:


This is why politicians are fake:


And this my friends, is the Fatman and Jake.

Any questions?

Friday, November 09, 2007

The Funniest Generation

You've got to hand it to the Brits; They're the jedi masters of skit comedy. Here's a hot little number from Armstrong and Miller that manages to make both WWII and amputation hilarious.

(via milkandcookies)

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I Gotta Be Me

The thought of this woman's descendants doing a double take when they see this ad gave me an extra spring in my step today.

She's wasting her family's inheritance merely by advertising that she's wasting their inheritance. Your keen sense of irony is not lost on me, ma'am. I salute you.

(via eatliver)

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Eat Meat

Hip hop is the music of a thousand uses. Case in point, notice how well a simple drum beat and a little rhyming sell the flesh of pig and cow.

They had me at moo. I also like how the employees at this Meat-a-tarium don't pay any attention to what they're doing.


Friday, November 02, 2007

He's Dead Jim

In the spirit of messing with future generations, I present to you the Star Trek casket:

It's a hot item for people who're looking for some sweet afterlife nerd props or who take comfort in the knowledge that younger family members will feel pretty damn awkward attending their open casket funeral. Furthermore, I think that we, as a people, should promote more activities like this one in the hopes of confusing the shit out of the archaeologists of the future.

(via boing boing and eternal image)