Friday, September 26, 2008

My Mine-Hypnotic Tango

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If Kraftwerk, Barry Gibb, and Depeche Mode had an Ether huffing party this would be the song playing on the radio when they started hallucinating. These guys love keyboards more than Yanni. Thumbs up to that. Even though they're dressed like caterers from a boat party in a Kung Fu movie from the 80's, they still manage to bring the emo-electro ruckus to the dance floor. But someone needs to tell them to go easy on the hairspray. It's literally turning into a fog. It looks like a Vidal Sassoon gas chamber in there.


Merlin, attack!



No man (or bird) ever triumphs when facing Tom Selleck's glorious mustache. Poor Merlin. You never stood a chance.

(via doubleviking)

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Kermit Bale

Ohnotheydidnt has an awesome series of shots of Christian Bale next to Kermit that is absolutely stupefying in its accuracy and scope. That's right. Batman is a fucking frog. You heard it here first.

And if Bale ever needs an understudy, I think I have someone in mind:

Frog it like it's hot, Pharell.

(via craplinks)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Picture Of The Day

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The photo shoot would have been a rousing success without the addition of a half-dressed horn playing primate. But the boys of Max Rogers don't settle for awesome. They are perfectionists. From the neatly trimmed hairs on the Michael McDonald beard to the shiny gloss on the 1974 Jeffrey Dahmer blue blockers, everything in the band's universe is carefully orchestrated to emulate success, power, and raw sexual prowess. They're like the Large Hadron Collider, except instead of using invisible science particles, they smash hair, velvet, and monkeys together to answer important questions about our universe. So dope. You know your crew is fire when the only place they can photograph you is inside a sauna.

(via katastrofalaomslag)

One Man AC/DC

This guy is a record label's dream. One guy who can do it all. No extra band members to worry about, just one guy who plays drums, sings, and rocks the hell out all by his lonesome. This is what The White Stripes would sound like if Jack White kicked Meg to the curb. Angus Young, buy the man a pint. He just owned the fuck out of you.



(via Digg)

Missing Cat



(via Eatliver)

Friday, September 19, 2008

He wins.

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Mustaches and Robots: The Yin and Yang of awesome.

I Heart Turkish Fisticuffery

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I'm always on the hunt for great Turkish Rip-off videos. We've enjoyed Turkish Star Wars, Spiderman, Superman, and Star Trek amongst others. And yes, they were gloriously awful. But this video from an old Turkish movie is one of the worst fight scenes I've ever seen. (You may recognize Cüneyt Arkın, who headlines Turkish Star Wars and apparently also made literally hundreds of other movies.) But this isn't just for dorks like me who enjoy watching things that look they were filmed on cardboard. If you're a scimitar aficionado, a fan of Donahue hair, or simply love watching husky Turks engaging and conquering trampolines, then this is also a movie for you. Enjoy.



(pic via Sexy People)

Ride The Snake!

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If that doesn't click with you, allow Jimmy Tango to explain.



(via yayhooray)

Giant Hispanic Bruce Lee lives in a lake.

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Look at his face. He doesn't understand this either.

(via LPLover)

Monday, September 15, 2008

Don't Laugh!


Can't remember if I posted this before, but if I did it's worthy of a repost. This has got to be one of the best ideas for a gameshow I've ever seen. The premise: Watch someone try and speak English (poorly). And if you laugh, sadistic Japanese motherfuckers come over and cane the shit out of you. Kudos to the producers for they guy they found to read the English book. He's one IQ point away from being the Japanese Corky.



(via TV in Japan, pic via Sexy People)

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Beamz Music Performance System



I did it. I found the stupidest thing ever invented. Now I can go to bed happy.

Freestyle Battle -Translated



Check out this rap battle translated hilariously into old person non-slanguage. When the second guy comes in and starts with "and a good day to you too, sir" I almost fell off of my nerd perch. (Watch until the end for some unexpected kick and punch goodness.)

(via yesbutnobutyes)

Metallica Cats


4Chan meets LOLcats meets Metallica. Internet, you are brilliant.

(via Neatorama)

A New Hope



So Fresh. Now all I need is a proper landspeeder to rock these on.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Dear Jesus...


Hey Jesus! What's up? Long time no speak. How's your summer going? Great. Hey, if you do plan on coming back to Earth anytime soon, I'd appreciate you swinging by so you can explain the meaning of these two sonic abominations created in your name. My God. (not you, it's just an expression.) Seriously. JC. What is the fucking deal with these guys? Jesus H. Christ, Jesus! I think you might have a serious stalker problem on your hands. I'm just saying you better watch out. Please, if you do make yourself seen to them, make it in the form of a lightning bolt. These crazy bastards have got to go. Heaven or Hell, I leave that one up to you. Just get them the F outta here, they're creeping me out!! (JK, JC. I wouldn't wish your holy wrath upon anyone. That's mean, and it's just not me;) But foreals. Jimbo. These people are totally crazy for you, man. As your friend, I just wanted to give you a heads up. Just call it a friendly little FYI from your Uncle Rico. So holler at me some time, we should definitely get up before the summer is out! Peace Jeezy! Send my best to your Mom and Dad!


Your friend,


Recon





(PS: I'm still waiting on those lottery numbers..no biggie, just get them to me whenever you can! thx!!)

(via M&C, Transbuddha)

Monday, September 08, 2008

Nobody puts Baby in a corner..unless he's a Centaur.

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I'd like to see these two in some kind of dangerous thunderstorm mountain showdown. Prediction: A total stalemate. They'd meet in the middle of the battle field and proceed directly to the forbidden dance. Robot Justice Meets Dirty Dancing meets Pan's Labyrinth. Brilliant. Dear Mr. Hollywood: Greenlight this fucker pronto, por favor.

(via yayhooray)

Gun Clock FTW

Buy it HERE

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Hasselhoff is Crazy for You

I thought you folks might enjoy a creepy, cheap, extremely repetitive, and overly reverbed YMCA rip off starring David Hasselhoff. Is that a wiener dog in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Monday, September 01, 2008

Master Of Puppets: 8 Bit Version

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When I get the hankering for metal, I don't always feel like committing to the intensity. Thankfully someone decided to turn classic metal tracks into more palatable video game style versions that satiate the metal fan as well as the joystick-loving techno nerd that live inside me. The only thing more terrific than computers are computers that sound like 1983. Obeeeyyy yourrr masterrr! Right fucking on.



(Also check out 8-bitified versions of Europe, Iron Maiden, Pantera, Megadeth, Slayer, Black Sabbath, GNR.)

(via Unique Daily)

My Humps: The Thai Remix

Finally the good people of Thailand have answered my prayers for a proper Black Eyed Peas homage. If Will I Am finds out about this he's totally catching the next red eye to Bangkok to choke someone out with his man scarf. You know how a dog doesn't understand anything you say to him but kind of figures it anyway? That's how I feel after listening to this. And somehow this makes more sense to me than that garden gnome Fergie's lyrics ever will. JK, Fergie. You're not a gnome. You're a real person. I'm just glad to see that a member of the Lollypop Guild is finally getting respect in the music biz.



(via videosift)

Early 90's Memory Jog

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I don't remember half this crap, but some of this stuff was (and still is) totally awesome. Street Fighter 2: Boss-tastic. Boy meets world? The exact opposite of Boss-tastic. Hey 90's: FTW, bro.

(via yayhooray)

Ahoy!


Summer is terrific. Just got back after getting my ass kicked by the ocean and sun for the last week. Brilliant. Lying around and swimming is the best thing ever. If it wasn't for jellyfish stinging me on the face, neck, arms, and torso, the ocean would be my favorite place on Earth.

I would love to learn how to surf. Then I could justify quoting Point Break all the time. It's a shame I have the coordination of a baby deer stuck on a frozen lake. I'm no Johnny Utah but inside my mind I can fucking surf like a motherfuck.

Vacation is the best. Makes me want to kiss a lion.


I wish it didn't have to end. I want to have more fun.



I want to ride a horse and feed it hotdogs.




I want to listen to music on my Lance Henriksen stereo.




I want to get down and move my boogie body.

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Use my patented jazz hands to paint Florida.


Learn to be as amazing at life as this guy.



Let my mustache grow out and get my Selleck on.


Maybe then I will be finally able to make proper crepes and subsequently make the ladies swoon.

Happy labor day, suckas.

PS: For those of you out there who know the flesh and blood me, you might find these amusing (click to biggify:)

I'd like to clone myself 6 times and make these guys my house band.

(via yearbook yourself, myconfinedspace, yayhooray, sexy people, Lp lover, neatorama, afrojacks)