Monday, September 28, 2009

There's a Kung Fu fight inside my brain.

I became a citizen a few years ago, and Uncle Samuel just got around to snail-mailing me a old-timey paper style form to fill out for jury duty. And this powerful Zen koan was posed to me as question #2:

#2: Can you understand and communicate in the English language?

I just wanted to share because it's the deepest thing I've been asked in years. I haven't been so confused since the last time I was this confused. I'm trying to remember when that was but I'm too fucking confused by all of this! Damn you, Samuel! Your devilish mind tricks continue to taunt me. I'll have to ruminate about this one for a while.

In the meantime I should just stop thinking about it and enjoy my shaved ice.

(BTW, if you haven't realized it by now, these guys are the Alpha and Omega of the Awesome Omniverse. Take a look at those mugs..can you honestly truly say that you have ever been that fucking happy in your entire life? I'm leaving a note for myself to remind me to Google-stalk these dudes. I want to hold them for ransom to the Shaved Ice Corporation until they tell me the secrets of universal bliss they obviously possess. If they refuse I'll cut them a check and hire them as my personal joy and well-being technicians.)

After thinking about the question posed earlier, my answer is "No"... with a hint of "Yes"... and then more "No". So Sam (if that is your real name), why don't you take that, make it into a sandwich, wrap it up in an American flag print picnic napkin, and proceed directly to getting the fuck out of my business. God you're nosy.

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