Meet Jack Torrence....

Try to imagine if the movie "The Shining" wasn't a horror flick, and instead was a heart felt drama about the bond between a father and son. Hard to imagine, right?

My friend Gabe sent me this today, and it really made my week. A post-production house organized a competition where assistant editors ‘re-cut’ trailers for famous movies to try and make them seem like different movies . This is the one that won...

Click Jack to watch!

(In case it doesn't work, here's a mirror)

Turkish Star Wars Poster & Clips

Although I've already posted about this fantastic film on my previous blog, the recent discovery of this amazing poster warranted another post. And it is Turkish Star Wars. The way I see it, I could devote all my posts to something this important. Look at the determination on Turkish Luke's grill. He's totally committed to whipping Space Monkey ass.

And if the poster wasn't enough, here are are two clips of the film for you. (Click the pics below to watch.) I truly hope they will make you as happy as I was after seeing them..

Here is the best fight sequence ever filmed:

And here is the best training sequence ever filmed:

Seriously though, how boss is Darth Vader's mustache?

Picture Of The Day

Whoah! Superman is a fucking killer! I think I would have liked his movies alot more if he had been like this instead. This pic is one page taken from the Indian comic "Nagraj Vs. Shakoora The Magician". It has Batman, Superman, and Spiderman, Lou Albano (WTF?) and a healthy dose of insanity. What more could you ask for?

Classroom Filmstrips

Remember the days of classroom film strips? I do. I loved watching them. It really didn't matter what the subject was, I just loved the experience itself. There was something warm and organic about the whole process. The sounds the projector made, the smell of the machine running, the muddled audio...all of it became a strange classroom ritual I became accustomed to and looked forward to. I can't remember any specific films, but somehow they all seemed strangely similar to me..

So I found this strip on Boing Boing today called "The Problems Of Drug Abuse" which has some fabulous visual madness, and I thought I'd share..Some of the pics are outstandingly psychedelic. I'm pretty sure they make me want to take drugs instead of resist them...

(click the huffers to check it out!)

Then I got Googling, and found this awesome article on classroom filmstrips from the 40's and the 50's. I thought Reagan's "Just Say No" campaign in the 80's was brainwashing, but these are ridiculous! I had to share some of these pics with you all. They range from humorously strange to dangerously racist..

Jesus! No wonder old people are so fucking crazy! Check out the whole article here..

For more info on propaganda, check out Propaganda Critic.

Picture Of The Day

Is it just me, or does that baby have Vulcan eyebrows? I think Mama Klingon has some explaining to do.

Ragdoll Dubya

Here's a good friday distraction: Rag doll Dubya. Fun for killing time and wasting those last minutes of the work day..

Click to play!

Black Belt Jones Trailer

Normally I wouldn't do a post just for a movie trailer. But Black Belt Jones is no ordinary movie. It happens to be the best movie ever made. And also my favorite movie ever. And this extended trailer has plenty of outstanding dialogue and action. Including scenes from the classic car wash soap suds battle! Oh my god, I love this movie.

Click pic to watch!

Picture Of The Day

As I'm currently living in a new city, I inevitably had to make new friends. So I want to take this moment to introduce you to my new crew.

Aren't they swell?

Hoff Gallery

Just a quick post, I'm super busy this week. But just you wait. I got a huge post planned for the weekend called "People I Want To Punch In The Face". I think you'll like it. In the meantime, My friend Mog sent me this article of Hoff's aspirations to be a rapper, and I got Hoff trolling online, and found this new site.

It's a Hoff gallery. For those of you beginning their Hoff studies, this is a good starting point. Also a great resource for advanced Hoffitarians like myself.

Here are some I enjoyed:

MaracaHoff

ForkHoff

Concrete JungleHoff

Check it out here!

(via Presurfer)

Weird games with wee models

(Thanks Lodi for sending me this!)

Picture Of The Day

I just added a new item to the list of things I want to see before I die. Friends, this is Indonesian water boxing. Easily the best water sport ever invented. If only I could be there on that riverbank. Just look at the faces of the spectators. Pure fucking bliss.

(If you like this, you might enjoy Bolivian Female Wrestling!)

(Via Cellar IOD & Grow A Brain)

Speech Bubble Project

Ji Lee printed 50,000 of these speech bubble stickers, placed them on top of movie posters, ads and signs all over New York City, then went back to photograph what people wrote. Check out the gallery here..

Man I miss New York.

(via Boing Boing)

Japanese Smoking Etiquette

This is a series of ads from some tyrannical Japanese tobacco company promoting Smoking etiquette. I love them to death. They make me want to take up smoking full time again. Here are a few I enjoyed:

If only the anti-smoking campaigns could win my heart like this. Evil has a good writing staff. Check em all out here.

Monkey Music Dump

Hello internet, happy monday. So I was driving home today, and realized I have nothing to write about. I started to worry. Then I slapped my face and reminded myself this is just a fucking blog about monkeys which seemed to calm me down. So rather than whinge you into a coma over the uninteresting nuances of my awesome life, instead I'll give you music. Here are the songs I listened to today during my ride home..I linked the mp3's to the song names. If you like them, I'm glad. If you don't, then you're a soulless person and are most likely going to hell when you die. (just kidding. Enjoy.)

Charlie Tuna- Comin' thru

It makes me happy I still listen to hip hop when I hear a good artist when 9 out of 10 artists are just plain horrible. Charlie Tuna from Jurrasic 5 is a great MC, and one of the few left who isn't a clone, angry, or jaded. Plus he's actually talented, which makes him somewhat of a Hip hop unicorn.

Gorillaz- Dirty Harry

I love this track off their new album. The vocals on the hook are off the hook. But they're on the hook also. But also off the hook.

Minibosses- Contra

Minibosses=NES cover band. Me=Happy Nerd.

Eddie Grant- Electric Avenue

I remember my dad used to have this on cassette and I played it so much I broke it. No wonder I'm a sucker for all things electro.

Herbie Hancock- Rockit

If you call me, this is my ring tone. I might love it more than my family. The video totally freaked me out what with the robots walking around and all the machines doing weird shit. But it was a good freak out.

Chaka Khan- I feel for you

Chaka Khan..Chaka Khan..I don't know whats better..The rappy sing song at the beginning or the wickedly dated synthesized sax solo. Sweet.

Air- La Femme D'argent

This is one my all time favorite songs. These guys sure know their way around a studio. Makes me want to go to France and eat spacecakes.

Lee Perry & The Upsetters w/Max Romeo - Chase The Devil

"Lucifer, son of the morning, I'm gonna chase you out of earth". Lee Perry is a mad genius. This is one of my favorite tracks by him. It's been sampled to death by the likes of Kanye West and The Prodigy, but nothing beats the original.

De La Soul- Much More

These guys are another exception to the rule that Hip hop sucks in 2005.

Prince- Kiss

Besides anything by the Bee Gees, this is the only acceptable song where it's ok for a man to sing at such a high pitch. Minnesota has Jesse Ventura and Prince. It might be the greatest state in the land.

Richard Cheese- Shake Your Ass

And lastly, this is a cover of Mystikal's "Shake your Ass" by none other than the fabulous Richard Cheese...Never fails to make me laugh loud.

That's it. Hope you like them. These files expire in 7 days, so grab em up!