There really isn't a day that goes by when I don't pray to God for a spitting cobra, a baboon, or some kind of wild tiger. Obviously I never received these things, so I just went ahead and assumed God was dead, or was alive and totally fucking hated me.
But today I have found the answers to my prayers.
Need animals? Benny Agra will get you an animal. His worldwide animal shipping company will hook you up will crocodiles, monkeys, and any animal you want "granteed". Although he advocates eating monkeys and other animals on his website, I still have love for this guy. Cmon! He mails fucking cobras to people!!! So awesome. And his fashion sense is comendable. Bono glasses and brown 1970 mafioso suits are the new hotness. Check out his outstanding commercial!!