Graceland

This past weekend I went to St. Louis to visit M4H regular Mr. Awesome, and had a blast. Lost of fishing, eating, and relaxing. But without a doubt the highlight of the trip was our pilgrimage to Graceland. I have to admit I was never a huge Elvis fan in the past. But after chilling out in his crib this weekend, I am now a convert.

This is the front of the mansion. I wish I could tell you some historical information on the estate, but I decided to take off the crappy headphones and therefore learned nothing on my tour. Regardless, the pictures and images of the house speak for themselves..

Here I am, standing in the first room. I really have no idea why I look so uncomfortable. Maybe it was the fact that everywhere I went I felt like Elvis's ghost was standing behind me drunk with a loaded shotgun.

This was my favorite room in the house..It has three TV's, it's painted the ugliest yellow I've ever seen, and there is a fantastic statue of a monkey on the coffee table. I want that statue more than I want world peace. I tried my best to pose exactly like it, but there is no way I could ever look that cool.

Here's a terrific photo of Mr. Awesome. In the background you can see the three TV sets. I wonder what Elvis watched while eating cocaine sandwiches down here.

Check out this evil little clown in Elvis's bar. It made me want to leave the room as fast as possible.

This is Elvis's pool room. Notice how incredibly shitty the wallpaper is. Still, pretty original. I wonder how much it costs to crapify a room. An arm and a leg I bet. This room totally felt haunted.

This room had some of his stuff that was formerly upstairs, which was off limits for the tour. (Which was fine by me. He died up there!) Here we see Elvis's bed, along with some outrageous shirts. Notice the red cape dracula-meets-Las-Vegas ensemble in the corner. fantastico.

Here of some of the King's favorite gats. I wonder which one he used to shoot the TV. The badge was given to him by some law official who probably didn't know that Elvis was one of the biggest drug bags in American history. But the way I see it, anyone who wears caped jumpsuits deserves some kind of badge.

Speaking of suits...

Elvis's dojo gear...

Formal attire...

And here we have the best suit ever made. Ever. If you don't believe me, maybe you need a closer look...

I think you could fight crime in this. You really wouldn't even have to fight. Just showing up would be enough. If any criminal saw this, he would stop his crime immediately and fall to the ground in homage to the fucking greatness of the tiger suit. Just looking at it makes my brain twitch. So boss it hurts.

And if you fought crime, you could use this as your boss mobile. This thing is the size of my NYC apartment.

This wall was put up in Elvis's old raquetball court. It helps explain how he could afford to buy a fucking plane.

This is Mr. Awesome posing in front of the Lisa Marie. Elvis had a dinner table on it, and sat at the front in a big chair next to a console that he could run the stereo from, talk to the pilots, and "take care of business."

In fact, "Taking Care Of Business" was his personal logo. The lightning bolt means "taking care of business in a flash." I wanted a t-shirt of it, but noone thought of making one. So I bought a keychain...It's my new favorite thing..

Well there you have it, folks...Hope you enjoyed my rare personal post...If you want more on Graceland, check out these virtual tours..

Recon has left the building!!