Thursday, December 15, 2005

King Kong: A Movie Review

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Saw King Kong last night. Here's my in depth review:

  • It has a Goddamned 25-foot monkey in it.
  • Said monkey fights fucking Dinosaurs 4 at a time.
  • CGI is off the meat rack. Kong looks exactly like a Giant Killer Gorilla in real life.
  • Jack Black is an asshole in it.
  • NYC literally gets monkey stomped.
  • Lots of people die in suprisingly violent and awesome ways.
  • No giant monkeys appear till at least an hour into the movie.
  • Mumbling. Someone needs to get Adrian Brody a Red Bull.
  • Over the top screaming. We get it, Naomi. You're scared. Take it down a peg.
  • Gratuitous depictions of human-on-monkey crime.
  • It's 57 and a half hours long.

That being said, it's totally worth watching. I think Peter Jackson lost all that weight through years of blood, sweat, and tears. This movie is colossal. 200 million dollars buys you one hell of a monkey flick. Just make sure to bring a bag of ritalin and a pillow for your ass, and you're all set. I can't wait for the sequel!

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