King Kong: A Movie Review

Saw King Kong last night. Here's my in depth review:

Pros:

• It has a Goddamned 25-foot monkey in it.

• Said monkey fights fucking Dinosaurs 4 at a time.

• CGI is off the meat rack. Kong looks exactly like a Giant Killer Gorilla in real life.

• Jack Black is an asshole in it.

• NYC literally gets monkey stomped.

• Lots of people die in suprisingly violent and awesome ways.

Cons:

• No giant monkeys appear till at least an hour into the movie.

• Mumbling. Someone needs to get Adrian Brody a Red Bull.

• Over the top screaming. We get it, Naomi. You're scared. Take it down a peg.

• Gratuitous depictions of human-on-monkey crime.

• It's 57 and a half hours long.

That being said, it's totally worth watching. I think Peter Jackson lost all that weight through years of blood, sweat, and tears. This movie is colossal. 200 million dollars buys you one hell of a monkey flick. Just make sure to bring a bag of ritalin and a pillow for your ass, and you're all set. I can't wait for the sequel!