Monkeys For Helping

Monday, October 31, 2005

Eat candy for happiness

Happy Halloween, everyone!! I love Halloween. Candy is one of the best thing the Gods ever created. I miss trick or treating. I guess the good part of being an adult is that now at least we don't have to beg for candy. We can just buy as much as we want, and don't have to dress up as Napoleon Dynamite to get that sweet chocolate into our fat, wrinkled faces. Being old has it's perks.

So here are a few links in honor of annual candy day...

This is how people around the world celebrate..

This is how you get in trouble celebrating...(Thundercats, HOOO!!)

Check out some of these extreme pumkins...

(Click Jacko lantern for more!)

Here are a few more intense Pumkins my friend Gabe sent me...

(Click pic for more!)

Here are a few costumes that made me laugh....

Mr. T and A-Team van (classic)

Darth Dominatrix

A masterful nerd and his AT-AT costume...

Technically not a Halloween costume, but the hat is boss city.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

And last but not least... here is a gem I snagged from the lovely ladies over at Lighterfluid and just had to share...

I never want to drink Pepsi again....

posted at 7:06 PM by Recon
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Sunday, October 30, 2005

Funny Voice

My friend Ciaran sent me this, and I laughed so hard watching it. It's a clip of a reporter interviewing a couple of people and totally losing it upon hearing the man's voice. I really wish I knew what they were saying...This clip is especially awesome because the woman is crying her face off while the reporter laughs. As I always say, crying=funny.

(Click pic to watch!)

(Thanks Ciaran!)

posted at 3:36 PM by Recon
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Thursday, October 27, 2005

Picture Of The Day

"DARAIN HOUSEN Has not taken off his hat for the last 20 years. He bathes, he sleeps and does everything possible in it. It is a perfect fit. But unlike other hats, his is not made of cloth but from the very hair on his head which is why it cannot be removed."

How incredible is that? Not convinced? Here's the link..and here's a closeup:

Mr. Housen, I tip my hat to you.

(thanks Lodi for sending me this!)

Labels: pictures

posted at 3:21 PM by Recon
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Yoda- Dance Jedi

This is a video of Yoda serving up the freshness for your viewing enjoyment. I got a kick out this. I love the Storm trooper crew in the back nodding their heads. Apparently it's going to be an Easter Egg on the Revenge Of The Sith DVD. Good thing I got it here, because I have no idea how to find those things on DVDs. I think you need a special nerd ring to make them work...Check the video below..It sort of reminds me of Spiderman's dance:

(Click on Yoda to Watch!)

(via Screenhead)

posted at 3:09 PM by Recon
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Condi Rice's Eyes of Satan

"USA Today pulled a photograph of Condoleezza Rice from its website after a weblog revealed it was manipulated, giving the secretary of state a menacing, demon-eyesing stare." (link)

WTF? Why did the Associated Press do that? Not only does it look totally fake, it's pretty unnecessary. It's not as if Condi Rice looked like Santa Claus before. They easily could have used stock photos to just as effectively convey her icy, Medusa gaze..For example...

Here is one they could have used. Now that is evil. I think if you unmasked one of the Ringwraiths in Lord of the Rings they would look slightly more friendly that this. She looks like she's sending death lasers from her hellspawned soul into Wolf Blitzer's neck beard. Damn Wolf Blitzer. I hope she gets him good.

Or how about this one? This picture isn't edited at all, and it's one of the scariest things I've ever seen. One time when I was a kid in Florida, a godamnmed water moccasin tried to bite me on the face, and except for the ear rings and lipstick, it looked exactly like that. You just can't photoshop that kind of evil. Looking that mean is a god given talent.

But if I had to choose one to use, it would have to be this one...

Hail Condi Rice, destroyer of Worlds!!

(via Linkfilter)

posted at 2:38 PM by Recon
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Picture Of The Day

We snapped a photo of this on the Graceland tour. One of the best paintings I've ever seen. Long live the King!!

Labels: pictures

posted at 2:52 PM by Recon
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Graceland

This past weekend I went to St. Louis to visit M4H regular Mr. Awesome, and had a blast. Lost of fishing, eating, and relaxing. But without a doubt the highlight of the trip was our pilgrimage to Graceland. I have to admit I was never a huge Elvis fan in the past. But after chilling out in his crib this weekend, I am now a convert.

This is the front of the mansion. I wish I could tell you some historical information on the estate, but I decided to take off the crappy headphones and therefore learned nothing on my tour. Regardless, the pictures and images of the house speak for themselves..

Here I am, standing in the first room. I really have no idea why I look so uncomfortable. Maybe it was the fact that everywhere I went I felt like Elvis's ghost was standing behind me drunk with a loaded shotgun.

This was my favorite room in the house..It has three TV's, it's painted the ugliest yellow I've ever seen, and there is a fantastic statue of a monkey on the coffee table. I want that statue more than I want world peace. I tried my best to pose exactly like it, but there is no way I could ever look that cool.

Here's a terrific photo of Mr. Awesome. In the background you can see the three TV sets. I wonder what Elvis watched while eating cocaine sandwiches down here.

Check out this evil little clown in Elvis's bar. It made me want to leave the room as fast as possible.

This is Elvis's pool room. Notice how incredibly shitty the wallpaper is. Still, pretty original. I wonder how much it costs to crapify a room. An arm and a leg I bet. This room totally felt haunted.

This room had some of his stuff that was formerly upstairs, which was off limits for the tour. (Which was fine by me. He died up there!) Here we see Elvis's bed, along with some outrageous shirts. Notice the red cape dracula-meets-Las-Vegas ensemble in the corner. fantastico.

Here of some of the King's favorite gats. I wonder which one he used to shoot the TV. The badge was given to him by some law official who probably didn't know that Elvis was one of the biggest drug bags in American history. But the way I see it, anyone who wears caped jumpsuits deserves some kind of badge.

Speaking of suits...

Elvis's dojo gear...

Formal attire...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

And here we have the best suit ever made. Ever. If you don't believe me, maybe you need a closer look...

I think you could fight crime in this. You really wouldn't even have to fight. Just showing up would be enough. If any criminal saw this, he would stop his crime immediately and fall to the ground in homage to the fucking greatness of the tiger suit. Just looking at it makes my brain twitch. So boss it hurts.

And if you fought crime, you could use this as your boss mobile. This thing is the size of my NYC apartment.

This wall was put up in Elvis's old raquetball court. It helps explain how he could afford to buy a fucking plane.

This is Mr. Awesome posing in front of the Lisa Marie. Elvis had a dinner table on it, and sat at the front in a big chair next to a console that he could run the stereo from, talk to the pilots, and "take care of business."

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

In fact, "Taking Care Of Business" was his personal logo. The lightning bolt means "taking care of business in a flash." I wanted a t-shirt of it, but noone thought of making one. So I bought a keychain...It's my new favorite thing..

Well there you have it, folks...Hope you enjoyed my rare personal post...If you want more on Graceland, check out these virtual tours..

Recon has left the building!!

posted at 2:51 PM by Recon
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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Baby Got Back- The Folk Remix

Sir Mix A Lot's "Baby Got Back" is a modern classic. Love it or hate it, you know it, and will never forget it. I personally love it for it's the brutal honesty. Right up front, Sir Mix A Lot levels with you. He tells you in plain honest words, "I like big butts..and I cannot lie." I can't help but admire someone so open and candid about himself.

That being said, Jonathan Coulton has made an amazing remix of the infamous song, and it's not only funny, it's really really well done. Definetely worth a listen..Check out the mp3 here...And check Jonathan Coulton's blog post here...

(via Transbuddha)

posted at 2:59 PM by Recon
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Picture Of The Day

Bill Cosby. King of sweaters. Lord of pudding. Supreme master of all things mustache.

Labels: pictures

posted at 1:33 PM by Recon
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Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Colbert vs. Phillips: Gravitas

I saw the premiere of The Colbert Report last night, and really liked it. This is a clip from last night's show, where Colbert and Stone Phillips have a newsman battle, saying ridiculous things in anchor-speak, seeing who has the most gravitas. Pretty funny...

(Click pic to watch!)

(via Screenhead)

posted at 2:31 PM by Recon
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Picture Of The Day

You're guess is as good as mine as to what the artist was thinking when he made this. He obviously isn't a huge fan of pants or children. But I just had to post it, if only because it shows a guy literally kicking a baby right in the ass. And said baby is crying even before it hits the ground. I don't know art, but I know what I like. And this is nothing short of brilliance.

Labels: pictures

posted at 1:50 PM by Recon
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Daniel Gezmer's Skate Gliding

There is a fantastic new sport sweeping the country: Skate gliding.

This is a clip from Daniel Gezmer demonstrating his avante-garde fusion of ballet, gay music, and skateboarding. As Daniel puts it, "Gliding and turning are the heart and soul of skateboarding". I couldn't agree more.

Do you, Daniel Gezmer. Represent the magic.

(Click Daniel to chase the rainbow!)

(via Milk And Cookies)

posted at 1:39 PM by Recon
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Friday, October 14, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

This picture sums up my mood..I just finished a paper that took me more than 2 days to finish, and I am very relieved! Happy Friday everyone!!! Let's celebrate!

I think I'll go pass out now...

Labels: pictures

posted at 4:58 PM by Recon
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Thursday, October 13, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Whenever I go to the movies and those horrible Fandango ads come on the screen, this is the exact the expression that comes over my face.

God how I hate those fucking puppets.

Labels: pictures

posted at 3:21 PM by Recon
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Monkeytown, USA

This is a clip from a from a never-aired comedy pilot for F/X called Harsh Reality, a fake news show that covers a amusement park called Monkeytown USA where people have one-on-one encounters with monkeys.

Trust me, this is worth watching just for the awesome footage of people getting totally fucked up by monkeys. The best part is when a Godamned Gorilla literally monkey stomps an old man on his back. Made my day.

Click pic to watch!

(Via Screenhead)

posted at 3:06 PM by Recon
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Smurfs Get Bombed!

So UNICEF has decided to use the Smurfs in their new anti-war campaign. (Click the Smurf pic below to watch the video). The results are hillarious, and not at all effective. Most reasonable people know that war sucks. But another thing that sucks almost as much is The Smurfs. Seriously, who the hell likes Smurfs? They're basically shitty hairless rats that lived inside mushrooms. Call me crazy, but I call that vermin. Fuck Smurfs. I'm pro-Gargamel all the way. He might have been a bit weird, but that dude had the right idea. Kill those bastards. I remember getting sick in my stomach watching them as a kid. Even then I somehow knew how horribly shitty they were. And today, as a slightly more intelligent adult, I realize they sent kids some pretty awful messages. Firstly, the only differentiation between the Smurfs were their labels. They didn't even have names! Just social classifications. Forget unity and equality. I learned as a kid that labeling other people was how society works. Thanks Smurfs, you classist piece of propaganda, you. And what's up with Smurfett? She rocked stripper-grade high heels, and judging from the obvious lack of female smurfs in the mushroom village, must have been the town baby factory. Poor lady. Were all those Smurfs Papa Smurf's kids or did everyone screw Smurfett? Either way, that shit ain't right at all.

Anyway, if you want to laugh, click the pic below and watch the terrific footage of the godless little blue wretches getting the crap bombed out of them.

(Click to watch!)

(For another link to a longer version of the commericial, click here)

posted at 2:03 PM by Recon
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Picture Of The Day

God this picture slays me...

Labels: pictures

posted at 2:55 PM by Recon
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Gay's Lion Farm

Just a quick random link...This is a small gallery of a guy named Mr. Gay and his Lion farm. I felt like posting it because the look on Mr. Gay's face clearly shows he is insane. And crazy lion riders named Mr. Gay always have a place on this blog..

At its peak, the Farm housed over 200 African lions. Under the whip and gun of Mr. Gay, performed a spectacular wild animal act for the massed spectators. Many of the lions did, indeed, star in numerous motion pictures during the 20’s and 30’s. Jungle features like the time-honored Tarzan films, from Elmo Lincoln to Johnny Weismuller, utilized the roaring residents of Gay’s Lion Farm. The famous "Lion Logo" which ushers in every MGM motion picture was made with "Jackie", one of Gay’s most famous stars.

Click the pic to see the rest!! And for more on Mr. Gay's lion farm, go here...

posted at 2:36 PM by Recon
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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Please God of internet, send me an mp3 of this fantastical band. Their music probably makes Wham! sound like Megadeth in comparison. It's a tough call to say who is the biggest asshole here, but I think that piss yellow glam genie wins. If only because of the open-toed sandals. And the fact that he looks like a valet at a Norwegian gay rodeo.

Labels: pictures

posted at 4:25 PM by Recon
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Vote Zod 2008

So I was talking to The Unbeatable on the phone today about how shitty our stupid government is and I have to admit I was getting pretty fired up about it. I find myself more interested in politics lately. I'm processing my citizenship papers right now, and if all goes well I'll be able to vote in the next election. (As long as Uncle Sam doesn't find out about my Communist proclivities and monthly Russian Roulette tournaments.) So I thought this would be a perfect time to share with you all who I am voting for in 2008:

General Zod.

This site got me thinking about how perfect a choice he is. Who wouldn't vote for a dude who shoots fucking laser beams out of his eyeballs? In this nation divided by bitter partisanship, it will take the power of a true authoritarian leader to unite us once again. And believe me, Zod is ready to clean house in government. All those years locked inside that mirror thingy turned him into a total prick. He means business. And let us not forget his depth of emotion and human feeling.

(figure a: Happy Zod, Pensive Zod, Ornery Zod)

Other reasons I'm pro Zod: He calls Earth Planet Houston, he has a mentally retarded ogre as his body guard, makes everyone kneel before him, and wears the same all-purpose unisex blouse as his butch girlfriend.

How many perfect reasons do you need? I say fuck Republicans and Democrats. I'm a full fledged Zoditarian!

Click pic for more on the Zod campaign!

posted at 3:22 PM by Recon
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I'm a loser baby..

Man. It's been a week, and no bloggin from me. Sorry, i'm a big fat Douche bag. Life has gotten the better of me, and travel and school have kept me from my daily duty to stupidity. I swear on the graves of my family that I will be more responsible and stop being such a loser. And speaking of losers, check out this fantastic cartoon that reminds me of myself:

LOL! Thats so wrong!!

posted at 3:11 PM by Recon
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Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Have another. Bar's open till midnight.

posted at 2:28 PM by Recon
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Benny Agra Animal Shipping

There really isn't a day that goes by when I don't pray to God for a spitting cobra, a baboon, or some kind of wild tiger. Obviously I never received these things, so I just went ahead and assumed God was dead, or was alive and totally fucking hated me.

But today I have found the answers to my prayers.

Need animals? Benny Agra will get you an animal. His worldwide animal shipping company will hook you up will crocodiles, monkeys, and any animal you want "granteed". Although he advocates eating monkeys and other animals on his website, I still have love for this guy. Cmon! He mails fucking cobras to people!!! So awesome. And his fashion sense is comendable. Bono glasses and brown 1970 mafioso suits are the new hotness. Check out his outstanding commercial!!

(Click to watch Benny in action!)

Man I wish I had a credit card. For info on inventory and the world of Benny Agra, check out his awesome homepage here..

(via Screenhead)

posted at 2:16 PM by Recon
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Monday, October 03, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Gimme applause when hands start clappin'..
Now give the drummer some!

Labels: pictures

posted at 3:04 PM by Recon
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World Mustache And Beard Championships

I woke up today unususally happy, and wondered why. Then I checked my email and was informed by my good friend Kuru that this just happens to be Mustache And Beard Championship week. Check out some of this years favorites:

My vote goes to pirate guy (top right). The fact that someone like that exists makes me happy to be alive.

Here are a few other favorites that made me go "whoah":

BEST BEARD EVER!!!!

For more pics on the championships, check out this article... And here is the official site..

And for you Americans out there, go show your support for team America in the competition by checking out their blog here!!

posted at 2:38 PM by Recon
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