Monkeys For Helping

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Even more bad album covers

Just a quick post today, as I'm swamped with schoolwork the next few days...I might be slow with the posts for a few...

If you come
here often you must know I truly enjoy awful album art. And good pics that are truly horrible are hard to find. I just a found this flickr set on Geisha Asobi today that has alot I'd never seen before. Here are my favorites, for your viewing pleasure:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


(found here via Geisha Asobi)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

"Hello Cloud City!!! Are you ready to ROCK?"

(thanks Gabe!!)

Labels:

Make the music with your mouth

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Beatboxing is something I always wished I could do but totally can't. I love it. Besides vocoded robotic voices and Dub Reggae echoes, it might be my all-time favorite sound.

So here are some quick links because I got beatbox on the brain today...


Now check out these awesome boomboxes from the golden age of hip hop:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click boombox to check em out!)

Ok, now imagine you got one of those bad boys on your shoulder..Check out this page of awesome beatbox mp3's and videos from the 80's and beyond...awesome cuts from the fat boys, Doug E Fresh, Rahzel and more...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click Doug E Fresh for mp3's!)

On a lighter note, check out this video of Michael Jackson beatboxing to Oprah...Oprah busts out the wack dance moves..priceless.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch Mike rock the mic!)

And finally, you have to watch this 27 minute video from one of the world's illest beatboxers from the UK named Kila Kela. It's amazing what this guy does with a mic. (Link is a direct link to Real Player file.) Trust me, If you click anything, click this!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch!)

World's First "Smart Arm-Wrestling Robot" Unveiled

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Professor Chul-Goo Kang and his colleagues at Institute for Robotics and Intelligent System (IRIS) of Konkuk University successfully developed an intelligent arm-wrestling robot, named ‘Robo Arm-Wrestler’, for the first time in the world and unveiled it to public at the Future Tech Korea 2005 festival, held in COEX.

Robo Arm-Wrestler automatically adjusts its strength for the challenger while diversifying the muscle-flexing pattern each time. This makes the counterpart feel like he is matching against a real person and keep himself concentrated. The smart robot also considers its competitor’s attitude and reflects his will and tenacity in deciding who wins.

The intelligent Robo Arm-Wrestler greets people when they are approaching by saying “Hello”, “Nice to meet you”, or “Please take a seat for a match”, and so on.

Professor Kang said, “Our achievement will allow the elderly to keep up their physical and metal health by utilizing the fun robot.”


(Found here via J-Walk)

Monday, November 28, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

This is an amazing hand built fortune telling robot from Bangalore. If I was there, my fortune would read "You enjoy discovering the time of day by gazing into crotches of robots".

(found here via Boing Boing)

Labels:

Some Facts About Chuck Norris

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can piss into gale force winds.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

(More random Norris here, and check out the top 30 here)

Meme'd!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Our good friend and respectable blogarian from Kangaroo country BourbonBird "tagged" me with a meme, and I have decided to reply out of respect for her and her infinite awesomeness (And go read her blog if you haven't already). So here goes:

Ten years ago:

I graduated from high school. I just missed the 10 year reunion. And by miss it, I mean I didn't make it.

I watched "The Usual Suspects", loved it so much I named my dog Keyser, and then ruined the ending to the movie to Kid Dammit by explaining to him why I named my dog that. Way to go, stupid myself.

I started to enjoy the college experience, sans class.

I looked like a much younger, beardless version of myself. Old sucks. I'm not quite old yet, but I can feel old knocking at the door. The other day I got cut off in the car by some rowdy teens driving to school and I shook my fist and said "Damn you fucking kids! Slow down!" They laughed at me. Godamned kids. I hope that Mountain Dew they drink extremes their Abercrombie asses off a open drawbridge.

Five years ago:

I was in music school, where I enjoyed the college experience, and this time went to class.

My car was stolen.

I did alot of Astral Projection and managed to freak myself out quite a bit.

I lived with the Mantis, Yadig, and a few other nomads in a dilapidated house in a godawful neighborhood in Boston with a mumbly landlord named John Darling who looked like the illegitimate love child of Mahir and Gallagher.

I was convinced that the Apocalypse was coming at any time.

One year ago:

I was caught inside the Capitalist struggle.

I was a much more jaded music industry victim than I am now.

I was living in NYC.

My car was stolen (again).

Five Yummy Things:

*Note: I officially am declaring blog jihad on the word "Yummy." Not even Teletubbies talk with such appallingly gay vocabulary. That being said, here are 5 delicious things instead:

1- Coca Cola Slurpee

2- Capirinha

3- Chicken Tikka Masala

4- Ropa Vieja

5- Sweet peppers

Five songs I know by heart:

1- The montage song in the movie "Bloodsport" (Fight to Survive!)

2- Fugazi "Waiting Room"

3- Stevie Wonder "As"

4- Kraftwerk "The Robots"

5- Paul Simon "Graceland"

Five things I would do with a lot of money:

Gamble on everything.

Pay people to exercise for me.

Become a full time UFO hunter/Paranormal Enthusiast.

Dig a laserfied moat around my house, Fill it with electric eels and rare jewels, and hire Shaolin Monks to serve as my guards and to get drunk and do Karaoke with me.

Wear a monacle like the Monopoly guy.

Five things I would never wear:

A beret of any kind. (Not for all the wine in France.)

Wraparound sports glasses.

A doo rag.

A beard of bees.

A Columbian necktie.

Five Favorite TV shows:

The Sopranos

Breaking Bonaduce

The Office (UK)

Simpsons

Daily Show

Five things I enjoy doing:

Sleeping.

Seeing friends.

Figuring out which of my dogs is stupidest.

Laughing.

Video Games, Internet, blogging, and other assorted nerd activities.

Five people I want to inflict this on:

Devo

Hungry Hyaena

Brogonzo

Yadig

Abrasivist

heheh... have fun guys!!

Friday, November 25, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I now have a dream. To make this bathroom humor into reality.

Labels:

Mr. Oizo "Flat Beat"

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I just bought Mr. Oizo's old album "Analog Worms Attack" after not hearing his stuff for a long time, and remembered how the video for the song "Flat Beat" was one of the absolute best I'd ever seen. So I thought I'd share.

It has a head banging puppet performing random office tasks. 'Nuff said.

Check it out HERE.

Wax Off

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Dammit. Mr. Miagi is dead. This is a sad sad day. If anyone wants me, I'll be down by the docks practicing my crane kicks..crying.

"Karate Kid" actor Pat Morita dies age 73

"LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Pat Morita, the Japanese-American actor who gained fame as the wise Mr. Miyagi in the "Karate Kid" movies and on the television show "Happy Days," has died in Las Vegas at the age of 73.

The Las Vegas Palm Mortuary home said Morita died of natural causes on Thursday.

Morita, who was born in California and sent to a Japanese-American internment camp during World War II, won a supporting actor nomination for his portrayal of the witty karate mentor of a young boy in 1984's "The Karate Kid."

Morita played the wise handyman, Mr. Miyagi. who befriended a new boy in town, played by Ralph Macchio, and helped him stand up to bullies by schooling him in Eastern philosophy and martial arts.

The film proved to be a box-office sensation and earned Morita the distinction of becoming the first Asian-American to be nominated for an acting Oscar. He lost that year to Haing S. Ngor of "The Killing Fields."

Morita appeared in the three "Karate Kid" sequels, the last of which, "The Next Karate Kid," gave double-Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank her big break in 1994.

The quick-witted Morita worked as a computer programmer but by the age of 30 had entered the world of entertainment full time as a stand-up comedian.

His first break came in the early 1960s when was introduced to Sally Marr, the mother of comic legend Lenny Bruce, who began managing his career and touring him around the country. Throughout that decade, he appeared in TV shows like "Laugh-In" and "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour."

In a 1994 interview with Reuters to promote "The Next Karate Kid," Morita said he had lived a joyful life.

"I've learned what it is funny and the first word of funny, is fun," he said.

After his years doing stand-up and guest appearances on TV, Morita gained wide fame and a recurring role playing restaurant owner Arnold on the hit 1970s show "Happy Days."

He briefly had his own TV detective series, called "Ohara," and appeared in many movies, including "Do or Die" and "Honeymoon in Las Vegas." Morita lent his voice to the Emperor character in the Disney animated movie "Mulan" in 1998.

He received a star on the Hollywood Boulevard Walk of Fame in 1994.

Morita is survived by his wife of 12 years, Evelyn, and three daughters from his previous marriage.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Eat turkey instead! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Labels:

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

The ironic part is that as soon as I saw this, I immediately wanted to put it on my electronic diary. So what does that make me?
(On second thought, don't answer that..)

(Thanks Dr. Nanda for this!)

Labels:

Wing Sings!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

This is Wing. She is a singer from New Zealand. Apparently she was featured on South Park recently, and after hearing her music I can see why. She could be one of the worst singers I've ever heard in my 28 years. And by worst I mean terrific.

Imagine the voices of Ms. Piggy and William Hung rolled into one. That kind of gets close to the Wing sound. But don't take my word for it..

Check out here rendition of AC/DC's "Back In Black"

Or ABBA's "Money Money"

Or her ovation worthy "Phantom of the Opera"

I told you. Wing ain't nothin to fuck with!


Here are the rest of the samples..And here is her main page..

(Via Linkfilter)

Swank Signs

This is a huge gallery of strange signs from around the world just "begging to be mocked". Some of these are fantastic. Here are a few I enjoyed:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click Vampire Monkey for more!)

(Via Metafilter)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

If anyone can get me a XBox 360, this statue is yours.

Labels:

Damn you, X-Box 360


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Me and Edna got alot in common. I just spent the last 5 hours wasting my life looking for the current holy grail of nerdery: the XBox 360. I wanted one pretty bad yesterday, but refused to hold vigil with my geek brethren for one at 12:01. I figured they wouldn't be sold out everywhere. I was so wrong. Judging by the punchable faces on the countless store attendants I saw, I had a better chance of running into a tuba playing Yokozuna than finding one today.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(fig A: Yokazuna w/tuba)

I went to at least a dozen stores. Some kid at Best Buy who looked like a Gelfling from The Dark Crystal
literally laughed at me when I asked him for one. Not a nerdy sarcastic laugh either. This was a real, heartfelt belly laugh. He then smiled at his equally awesome co-worker and said, "yeah, um.. no. Sorry, pal, you might want to try..." but I don't remember what else he said because I was too caught up in choosing which DVD box set I wanted to use to smash his skull in with. But then I realized he most likely spends his days stocking ipod batteries and alphabetizing Barney tapes with his bluetooth headset on, hoping that at least one person will call this week so he can finally show the pretty girl at register 5 that he actually has friends. There was no need to be mean to him. Life had beaten me to it.

One clerk who wasn't a douchbag told me that there were people lining up outside the store at 11 pm last night, and they didn't open until 10 this morning. My friend at Microsoft (who is having trouble getting one for himself!) told me that they are going on Ebay for ridiculous prices. Check these out.. Some are going for more than a grand! Upon hearing that I promptly gave up. Oh well, I guess I'll get one eventually. It would be nice to have one, but I suppose I can wait.

So did anyone get one? And is anyone going to get one after the madness calms down?

Monday, November 21, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Let's just hope some robot genius rubs off on him.

(found here)

Labels:

Interview With L. Ron Hubbard Jr.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I won't waste your time bashing Scientology. We all know it's a crazy cult based on a pyramid scheme with an extraterrestrial creation myth invented by a dead sci fi writer that causes celebrity twats like Tom Cruise to jump up and down on talk show couches and play grabass with Oprah Winfrey.

That being said, I came across an awesome interview with L. Ron's son from a 1983 article in Penthouse. Here's a telling excerpt from it:

Penthouse: Didn't your father have any interest in helping people?

Hubbard: No.

Penthouse: Never?

Hubbard: My father started out as a broke science-fiction writer. He was always broke in the late 1940s. He told me and a lot of other people that the way to make a million was to start a religion. Then he wrote the book Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health while he was in Bayhead, New Jersey. When we later visited Bayhead, in about 1953, we were walking around and reminiscing --he told me that he had written the book in one month.

Penthouse: There was no church when he wrote the book?

Hubbard: Oh, no, no. You see, his goal was basically to write the book, take the money and run. But in 1950, this was the first major book of do-it-yourself psychotherapy, and it became a runaway best-seller. He kept getting, literally, mail trucks full of mail. And so he and some other people, including J. W. Campbell, the editor of Astounding Science Fiction , started the Dianetics Research Foundation in Elizabeth, New Jersey. And the post office kept backing up and just dumping mail sacks into the building. The foundation had a staff that just ran through the envelopes and threw away anything that didn't have any money in it.

(Check out the whole article Here..)

And for those of you allergic to reading, here are some snaps from an old Scientology pamphlet, and one pic from the newest version..

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Peep the Andre 3000 poster on the wall. Outkast are so hip they were even cool during olden times.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Worst Mini mart ever. Any kid shopping there deserves a black eye.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

No patrons, eh? The problem might be the fact that that color of orange is even more horrifying than the one I use as a background on this site. I wouldn't paint a vomitorium with it.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I'm not going to lie. This one almost had me sign up.


and finally...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

POW!!! Right in the Thetans!!!

(Article via Metafilter)

Hooked! The Anti-Heroin comicbook

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

To those of you about to try heroin for the first time, please read this informational comic book from 1966 NYC methadone clinics first. You owe it to yourself to be informed of the major decision you are about to make. And what better way to learn the mortal dangers of narcotic abuse than a comic book? Here are a few of my favorite parts:


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Man..You know times are rough when you resort to Goofballing....


Friday, November 18, 2005

Picture Of The Day


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

This is why I'm a dog person. Cats just don't have that kind of moxy.

(Thanks Matty for this!)

Labels:

Cassette Jam

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

This is a huge collection of pictures of different cassette tapes that Mog sent me.

It totally got me reminiscing about how awesome tapes are. For some reason, making a mix tape felt so much more rewarding than making a CD does. There is something warm about anything analog. That's why vinly still runs shit. Plus, you scratch a CD, it's a wrap. If your tape gets messed up, you can pull MacGuyver moves and fix that thing with nothing more than tape, a pen, and a little screwdriver.

Makes me miss the days of having a radio show and listening to crackly DJ mix tapes..

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

(Click tape to see the gallery!)

(thanks Mog for sending me this!)

Space Cadets Hoax Reality TV show

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

A new reality TV show is aiming to pull off the biggest hoax in TV history - by persuading a group of Britons that they have been blasted into space.

The new Channel 4 series Space Cadets has been under wraps since the idea first came about 18-months ago.

Nine people will be told they are set to visit the final frontier as space tourists and that in preparation they will undergo intensive training in Russia courtesy of the Space Tourism Agency of Russia, but in reality the groups will be "trained" for space in a disused airbase in a secret location in the UK.

Unbeknown to them, their shuttle will be a Hollywood creation, made originally for the film Space Cowboys.

A giant custom-built screen positioned just outside the shuttle will, it is hoped, provide the illusion of a view of Earth from space including a hurricane over Mexico and a glimpse of the UK on one day when cloud cover parts.

The launch sound has been created by a Hollywood sound specialist while the shuttle will tip and rock in the process.

Channel 4 admits that the joke could be on them if the participants, who are currently being selected from a group holed up in a secret location with no contact with the outside world, cotton on to the stunt.

Three actors have been placed in the group and will be able to report back on whether there are any suspicions.

(Found here via Coast to Coast)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


I used to think the 29 dollar "Shinsonic" DVD player my Dad bought from Walmart was the bossest of all. This one blows it away. Craptacular.

Labels:

Dschinghis Khan does Dschinghis Khan

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Once again, it's time to pay tribute to the Disco gods. D to the muthafuckin K. You're probably thinking, "Oh no, not another Dschinghis Khan post". Sorry, but I just can't seem to get enough of these people. It's like they say, "Once you go Khan, you can't go on." Whether you're listening to classics like "Samurai", or "Rocking Son of Dschinghis Khan", they're best of the best. The most electrifying disco musical group of all time. Some of you ABBA fans might not agree with me. Granted, they could sing well and had actual talent, but they were fucking JV when it came to rocking fresh gear. You don't agree? I'll give you three reasons why I'm right:

Reason 1:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Reason 2:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us




Reason 3:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Now you've probably all seen the amazing Moskau video already..

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(click pic to watch Moskau!)

I used to think that was the best performance I'd ever seen. But I just found a new clip of them performing their smash hit cleverly titled "Dschinghis khan", and I totally stand corrected.

Not only does weird breakdancer guy bust out the magic hands, he goes to new realms of foreign awesomeness with a fresh style I can only describe as Cirque Du Soleil meets Cocaine meets Napoleon Dynamite. Breathtaking moves.

Enough of me and my stupid, stupid words. Watch this!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(click to watch "Dschinghis Khan"!)

Labels:

One Jack and coke, you robot bastard..

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Found this on J-Walk today.. some Korean super-geniuses have unveiled a smart robot that pours drinks, shakes hands and has conversations...and wears bow ties.

"At one of the venues for the APEC forum currently underway in Busan, a bartending robot is poised to make its public debut, taking orders and serving the gathered leaders -- just like a human. It is only one of various walking humanoid helper robots that have been shown around Korea, but this is the first time that such a robot has been able to carry on conversations with customers and fetch the items they request.


The Ministry of Science and Technology’s Intelligent Robot taskforce has created the "T-Rot," which is scheduled to wait on world leaders in a Robot Café at the APEC summit venue. "T-Rot was developed as a service robot for the elderly and disabled,” says taskforce director Kim Mun-sang. "It has the ability to hold conversations with people and fetch items that they want, so we call it a 'thinking robot' or T-Rot.”

Here's the rest of the article...

If anyone needs me, I'll be at the gun store stocking up for the fucking apocalypse.

(Via J-Walk)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Bladin' The Edge!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

The crew over at Sweatervest put this amazing video together along with the help of a few of my friends (shouts to Rondo, Fernando, and Air Epstein!) and I am truly proud to share it with you, my fellow interwebians.

It's
a hillarious homage to radically awful rollerblading called "Blading The Edge". Chock full of fanny packs, Motley Crue, and of course, radical bladin'!

To quote inline skate legend and "champion winner" Fernando Springfield:

"BMX'ers got two wheels...skateboarders got four...We've got eight wheels! Do the math, asshole!"

LOL! Fucking comedy gold!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click Fernando to watch!)

(* If file doesn't work, here's an alternate)

Tyson's greatest hits

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Many moons ago I lived with a crazy guy named Obi who had a tape of Mike Tyson's knockouts during his rise to greatness in the late 80's. To this day it remains one of the most awesome things I've ever seen.

This is a link to a video that has some amazing knockouts from Iron Mike before he went nutter and tattooed his face like a Dungeons And Dragons character. Just watch..some of these are insane!!!!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click the champ to watch!)

(Via Compfused)

Baby Luv: Monkey Of The Year

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

This just in: Paris Hilton has been attacked by her pet monkey.

I honestly didn't even know she had one, but who the hell cares! This story is so good it makes me want to punch myself in the face. Baby Luv, you are a god amongst primates...

From the NY Post:

"The sexy socialite was out shopping buying lingerie with her new primate pet, Baby Luv, in Los Angeles on Saturday (12-05-05), when the animal went bananas.

According to reports, the monkey bit Paris and clawed at her face as she entered the Agent Provocateur shop with the simian on her shoulder. Luckily, the ‘Simple Life’ star managed to pull the monkey off her face and then hooked Baby Luv on a leash which she attached to a cabinet so she could shop in peace."

I thank you, Internet. Knowing that Paris Hilton suffered horrible pain at the hands of a angry monkey has allowed me to start my day in a state of pure bliss . Cheers.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

The best part about this is that there is no microphone included. Apparently rappers no longer rap.

And can someone please explain why Dracula's fucking castle is in the background?

Labels:

Bush is a drunk? (again?)

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Everyone knows that George W Bush used to be a coked up boozebag before he became president..But now he's supposedly clean and sober.

After watching this video Mantis sent me, I am very skeptical.

He isn't obviously hammered like he was in the infamous wedding video, but I wager that Dubya has been getting swilly up in Air Force One. I gotta say, I totally understand. The world hates this guy. With poll numbers at an all time low, who wouldn't be popping corks? I know I would...I'd make Boris Yeltsin look like a lightweight if I was him.


So watch this video below, and you tell me..

Is Bush a boozebag or not?

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch!)

Monday, November 14, 2005

Macho Man's Day Off

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I really can't get enough of this...Click pic to see!

(via YTMND)

Old Yeller Dog Food

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

For those of you who don't know the story of Old Yeller, at the end the dog gets shot. Good one, Disney. 10 points for excellent evil.

Labels:

Friday, November 11, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Labels:

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Dissing Your Dog & Delco Cat Toys

These are two of my all time favorite skits from Will Ferrell.

Dissing Your Dog- Will Ferrell uses sarcasm to scold his pet. My favorite part:

"Oh, right, Margaret, you wanted prime rib. Here's the deal: The Palm wasn't taking reservations, and I didn't even try Morton's because I understand they have a new chef. So for now, let's just go with the Alpo, okay? I know it's not your first choice but keep in mind, you're a fucking dog!"

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch!)

Delco Cat Toys- Will Ferrell plays an agressive Cat Toy salesman alongside Vince Vaughn. When he pretends to be a cat I nearly wet myself.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch!)

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

OMG! Volume 2 is out!!

The Disco Ball chainmail look is so hot right now.

Labels:

The US Military has got laser guns!!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


Attention nerds: we've got Laser guns! The US millitary is now officially from the future. I am so freaking excited about this. All we need now is flying cars and hovering skateboards and we'll be living in the future that 80's culture promised us would happen..I remember watching GI Joe back in the day and wondering why we didn't have laser guns. But we do now! Hurray for modern technology. We just have to make sure that we get the blue lasers and the bad guys get the red lasers, that way we can see what side people are on in the heat of battle. I just wish Osama had the moxy of Cobra Commander. That guy was the fucking man...

US military sets laser PHASRs to stun

"The US government has unveiled a "non-lethal" laser rifle designed to dazzle enemy personnel without causing them permanent harm. But the device will require close scrutiny to ensure compliance with a United Nations protocol on blinding laser weapons.

The Personnel Halting and Stimulation Response (PHASR) rifle was developed at the Air Force Research Laboratory in New Mexico, US, and two prototypes have been delivered to military bases in Texas and Virginia for further testing.

The US Department of Defense (DoD) believes the weapon could be used, for example, to temporarily blind suspects who drive through a roadblock. However, the DoD has yet to reveal details of how the laser works and has yet to respond to New Scientist’s requests for further information."

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to read the whole article!)


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Via Attu)

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Reason #4,080 why Lucha Libre is the best sport on Earth.

Labels:

Borat at the MTV Europe Awards 2005

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


I watched the European Music Awards over the weekend, and thoroughly enjoyed Borat ..Here are some of his memorable quotes from the show via Borat Online:

Introduction to the show

"Welcome to the 2005 Eurovision Song Contest."

Following Madonna's performance

"That singer before me. Who was it? It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite, he was very convincing. It was only his hands and his testi satchels that gave it away."

Introducing Coldplay

"Next is one of the most famous bands in the world. We all love very much. Please enjoy... Green Day!"

Introducing The Pussy Cat Dolls

"Please prepare yourself for masturbation because next are international singing prostitutes, Pussy Cat Dolls."

After introducing Akon

(Borat whispers to little Kazkhstani child), "quick Akon's on stage, dressing room 8. See what you can take."

Introduction to Gorillaz

"There is one singer called Shakira... sorry I laugh because in Kazakhstan this word means vagina. For example, 'Can I touch your shakira?' or 'I have seen your wife's shakira, it hangs like the mouth of a tired dog."

Introducing Green Day

(Borat is dressed in a very revealing wrestling lycra costume), "Hello it is me, Freddy Mercury. I joking, he die of AIDS. It me Borat, I not a la la loo lee. The only sex disease I ever have is gonoreah. 15 times! The ladies like Borat! Now please welcome Coldplay."

Chatting to co-presenter Brittany Murphy

"Very nice. Whah whah we whah! I imagine you with no clothes. Borat is getting fat."

At the press conference

"My 13-year-old son is travelling here by foot, with his two wives and his three childrens." "If he survives the journey I have promised him that he can make penetration with Colombian prostitute Shakira."

"I look forward to meeting Jennifer Rush, Level 42 and Terence Trent D'Arbay," "Oh and the Thompson Twins."

In interview with the BBC

"My retard brother Vilo is not able to come as he is retarded and his cage would not fit on the plane."

"Unfortunately my wife was unable to leave Kazakhstan as she is a woman... this is a good news, she is a boring. High Five!!!"

"We celebrate with a men's only party in my hotel room where we will play ping pong, wrestle totally nude and shoot dogs from the balcony."

To finish the show

"To the world, I love you! Apart from Uzbekistan. Assholes."

(And speaking of the EMA's, check out this awesome half live, half animated performance by the Gorillaz..)

(Via Borat Online)

Morning Musume vs. Giant Lizard

This is a clip I snagged from Boing Boing. It's a Japanese game show clip, where J-Pop supergroup Morning Musume have raw steak strapped to their heads and come face to face with a fast running, hungry lizard. High pitched screams and hillarious hillarity ensue...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch!)

(Via Boing Boing)

TMNT Roschambo!

Some people think alcohol is bad. But those people haven't seen a guy dressed up as Donatello from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles jump kicking his friend in the balls. If they did, they might change their minds.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch!)

Money!

Last night I had dreams of being at a Lucha Libre tournament and I woke up with a song I couldn't place going through my head. All morning it drove me crazy. And then I remembered what it was, and was equally relieved and weirded out by the answer.

The song in my head was "Money". So I guess must have been dreaming about Mexican wrestlers throwing down to Korean pop music. It really all seemed perfectly normal in my dream.

I know this video is old by internet standards, but it's still young in my heart. And old is the new new. Besides, there are few moments on film better than when the girl on the right does her heavy metal voice. Fucking Priceless.

Behold, one of the best videos/songs ever!!!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch!)

Monday, November 07, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

According to the internet: "A telephone card bearing an image of deposed Iraq leader Saddam Hussein was pulled off the Brazilian market by Telefonica."

Damn. This is a good idea..what gives, Brazil? I was hoping this was the first in a dictator series. They need to put Manuel Noriega and Khadafi on these. Bring it back to the old school.

(Via Snapsoid)

Labels:

Ultimate Sign Generator

This sign generator puts your logo (which you can also make on the site) on billboards, vans, people, and even tatoos. I did it, and here is my favorite:


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic for generator!)

Watch your back bitches! The M4H jihad doesn't play around...


(Via The Presurfer)

Friday, November 04, 2005

Conversation Of The Week: "Canadians in Europe"

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Found this on All Things Christie..A convo overheard in Queens, posted on Overheard in New York:

"Ghetto girl #1: ...so I was talkin' to that guy and his accent was so fuckin' hot--guys from there have accents for whatever--and I'm like, "Yo, why you got an accent? You only live like 20 miles away." I was like, "Nigga, what the fuck is up with havin' an accent and bein' from Louisiana?" He then be lookin' at me like I swallowed my own piss.

Ghetto girl #2: You so stupid. His accent be the thing that make you want him. You so stupid. Know why? I don't think he even had an accent; you probably thought he was from Jamaica or something. Just because he black. You a bad liar too. People from Louisiana can't have accents. That's for people from different parts of the world, like the Canadians in Europe. Canada's such a fuckin' weird country, but they got hot accents. If you from Louisiana, you sound just like you do if you from New York, and if you from New Jersey. If you from Canada, you sound mad different, because it's on the other side.

Ghetto girl #1: Well nah, I knew Canada was overseas...but they ain't got accents. I'm tellin' ya though, this fuckin' Louisiana guy has a fuckin' accent...and it's not even as far as Canada...Louisiana is a drive away; it's fuckin' nuts. I just wish I could make out with him so that I could feel his fuckin' Louisiana lips, but then I guess I be wrong, he can't be from Louisiana. So I guess I'ma dream of kissin' him when we be in Canada. It's across the world and great.

Bystander guy: The sad thing about this is that you two will probably become teachers.

--Queens Plaza station

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Go Hammer, Go!!!

Labels:

Bobby Knight's top 10

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

You gotta love Bobby Knight. I don't know shinola about sports, but I know entertainment. I like Bobby Knight for the same reason I like Mike Tyson: he's shithouse crazy and makes no attempts to hide it in public. That's Boss with a capital B.

Check out this clip from Sportscenter...Bobby Knight's top ten TV moments...some of these are gems. Dirty, foul mouthed gems.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to watch!)

Paris Hilton Doesn't Change Expressions

I admire Paris Hilton. Not for being a good person, or a good role model, because she is obviously neither of those. I am amazed at her stamina. The endurance it takes to be a celebrity slutbag 24 hours a day, all year round is remarkable. She never seems to miss a party or a photo-op, and I really can't help but be impressed by her perpetual camera whoring and relentless pursuit of the spotlight.

But there is a secret to her endless amounts of energy. Just look at this creepy picture montage..you can see it if you look really hard:


2005110210184263712mz

Paris Hilton is a fucking robot.


Labels:

Great Engrish Moments


I found these on Engrish and thought I'd share....


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Man or Woman? Help me out here, people....

Labels:

Attention K-Fed: Stop making music!!!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us


According to Stereogum, Kevin Federline has made an album, and it's being leaked on the internet. To give him the benefit of the doubt, I listened to a snippet of his new song, creatively titled "Y'all Ain't Ready".

For the record, the beat is hot. But I expected that. That's because Disco D is a good producer. Having said that, I now wish I could retrieve those 52 seconds of my life I threw away for ever.

Before reading further, check out this article and listen to the snippet here...But be warned, this is how I felt listening to it:


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I don't know what you're favorite lyric was, but here's mine:

"They call me K-Fed..but you can call me daddy instead.."

Pardon me sir, but who calls you K-Fed? Celebrity bottom feeders like Cojo and Pat O'brien? People like that would sell their children into sex slavery to get the chance to look through your garbage for ten minutes. They don't count. Everyone I know refers to you as the shitbag backup dancer who put a baby in Britney Spears. Fuck you, K-Fed. There I said it. And no, I will not "keep your name out my mouth." You could have asked nicely, no manners. You just raped my ears and destroyed part of my everlasting soul, and I feel you deserve to be punished for it.

What happened to you, man? I liked you alot better when you spent your days farting on the couch doing bong rips and knowing your godamned role as a useless cuckold to a declining superstar. Look at Nick Lachey. He knows his only job is to replace lightbulbs and tend the yard while his wife brings home the cream. But no, you had to go and make music. Shame on you. Even though your kid is most likely a lost cause, it still terrifies me that it might be subjected to your music while still in the developmental stage of infancy. Why don't you just cut out the middle man and feed it paint chips, or hit it in the soft spot on it's head with a rusty hammer. It couldn't do any more damage than your songs have done at this point.

This makes me so happy I am no longer working in the music industry. But I have to thank you for one thing, K-Fed. Now I know what song I will listen to when I finally decide to put a gun to my temple and paint the walls with my brains. Cheers.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Chaka Khan? Chaka Khan?

What do you get when you combine Chaka the monkey boy from Land of the Lost with Ricardo Montalban's character in Wrath of Khan?

You get my newly created YTMND site. For giving lonely nerds like me the chance to avoid prolonged bouts of homework and social interaction, I thank you Internets..
I think I've found a new addiction.....


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click pic to get your Chaka on!)

*UPDATE: Check out my new ones.. Ratsniffer and Bruce N' Roses! Also check out my tribute to Black Belt Jones..

Man this is addictive. Stupid and addictive.

Picture Of The Day

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

What can I say..I guess I got Ninja on the brain today.

Labels:

2005 Yo-Yo Champion video

I suck at Yo-Yo. Which makes this all the more amazing to me. When I close my eyes at night, I pray that I can one day be a Japanese Jedi like this talented bastard. This footage is incredible!!!


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(click to watch!)

(via Attu)

The Adventures Of Dr. McNinja

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

This is a great new online comic I found over at Screenhead..The latest episode has the good doctor diagnosing a kid with "Paul Bunyan's disease" which transfoms him into a giant rampaging lumberjack. His secretary is a Gorilla, and he fights Ronald McDonald and kills the robots that work in his restaurants. Awesome.


Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

(Click the doctor for more!)




Chatmax4000







Tumblelog



blogroll


Blogroll Me

Blogroll Me!


links


Ain't It Cool News
Ananova
Aurgasm
Banksy
Beatbuyer
Bizzare Records
BlestEnation
Boing Boing
Boss Tweed
Bootleg Archive
Coast To Coast
Cocaine Blunts
Daily Kos
Defamer
Eccentric Cinema
Everlasting Blort
Excitement Machine
Exploding Cigar
Eyebeam Reblog
Fark
Fortean Times
Found Photos
Gizmodo
Geisha Asobi
Get Your War On
Go Fug Yourself
Google Newsmap
Gorilla Mask
Grow A Brain
Hedonistica
Japan Hero
Japander
J-Walk
Kaiju Blog
Kaiju Big Battel
Kid Robot
Kontraband
Kung Foo
Link Filter
Meme Pool
Migel
Mister Pants
Mr. Brownstone
Maddox
Metafilter
Milk and Cookies
Monkeyfilter
Paranormal News
Presurfer
Reality Carnival
Retrocrush
Rotten Tomatoes
Sacred Texts
Scissorkick
Slashdot
Snapsoid
Soul Sides
So Many Shrimp
Spanked
Stomp Tokyo
Super Strange Video
Texts From Last Night
Tofu Hut
Transbuddha
Turbanhead
Waxy
Viceland
We Make Money Not Art
Unknown Country
Zfilter
Zipped




archives

Jun 2005
Jul 2005
Aug 2005
Sep 2005
Oct 2005
Nov 2005
Dec 2005
Jan 2006
Feb 2006
Mar 2006
Apr 2006
May 2006
Jun 2006
Jul 2006
Aug 2006
Sep 2006
Oct 2006
Nov 2006
Dec 2006
Feb 2007
Mar 2007
Apr 2007
May 2007
Jun 2007
Jul 2007
Aug 2007
Sep 2007
Oct 2007
Nov 2007
Dec 2007
Jan 2008
Feb 2008
Mar 2008
Apr 2008
May 2008
Jun 2008
Jul 2008
Aug 2008
Sep 2008
Oct 2008
Nov 2008
Dec 2008
Jan 2009
Feb 2009
Mar 2009
Apr 2009
May 2009
Jun 2009
Jul 2009
Aug 2009
Sep 2009
Oct 2009
Nov 2009



thanks


design by maystar
tweaked by BourbonBird
comments by HaloScan
images by imageshack
gallery by flickr

 
Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com