This just in: Paris Hilton has been attacked by her pet monkey.
I honestly didn't even know she had one, but who the hell cares! This story is so good it makes me want to punch myself in the face. Baby Luv, you are a god amongst primates...
From the NY Post:
"The sexy socialite was out shopping buying lingerie with her new primate pet, Baby Luv, in Los Angeles on Saturday (12-05-05), when the animal went bananas.
According to reports, the monkey bit Paris and clawed at her face as she entered the Agent Provocateur shop with the simian on her shoulder. Luckily, the ‘Simple Life’ star managed to pull the monkey off her face and then hooked Baby Luv on a leash which she attached to a cabinet so she could shop in peace."
I thank you, Internet. Knowing that Paris Hilton suffered horrible pain at the hands of a angry monkey has allowed me to start my day in a state of pure bliss . Cheers.
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