Picture Of The Day

Labels: pictures

So You Think You Can Dance Face Plant

One of my new favorite shows in the world is "So You Think You Can Dance?" on Fox. It makes American Idol look like fucking Masterpiece Theatre. So damn good. They even have a British twat (read: poor man's Simon Cowell) on it. Basically people come out and dance, an occassionally the viewer gets to witness moments of true brilliance. Like this gem. Watch as a young ambitious idiot uprocks his nosebone.

Star Wars Pixelmash

Even Stevphen-Responsible Drinking

Back

Well I'm back, Monkiacs. Sorry for the delay (2 weeks..damn!!!) I guess life sidetracked my nerd world a bit. No worries, I won't leave again in the forseable future. I really think I needed a break. Since I last posted, I've moved back to NY, checked out a Gnarls Barkley show, played too much 360, saw friends, ate, drank, and was merry. Now I need a job like Nicole Richie needs a candy bar. Anyway, I'll be on daily from here on, so you can rest assured you will get your daily fill of 3 armed babies, human vending machines, and other assorted stupid. It's good to be back, bitches.

BRB

Picture Of The Day

Labels: pictures

Monkey Shops With Pig In Japan

Where else other than Japan do monkeys in red Northface jackets go shopping with pigs? Oh yeah, in my godamned dreams.

Hasslehoffed!

I'm proud to report that the evil cult of Hasslehoff continues to grow stronger and stronger. The folks over at Hasslehoffed.com have given us a new reason to worship at the Shrine of Hoff. Kind of like Jeff Goldblum is watching you poop or Shepard Fairey's Obey campaign, except instead of the Blum or Andre in it you get David fucking Hasslehoff instead. From the site:


We know only the infinite spaces where a Hasselhoff could have been.
We know only the countless times when someone could have been Hasselhoffed.

In every situation we see nothing but opportunities, in every location we see nothing but individual spots, each one more potent than the last.
Help us spread the most exciting disease ever.

I wish I had time and/or energy of any kind, I'd be all over this bitch. I know that a day doesn't go by when I'm not Hasslehoffed to the max.

Bas Rutten: Bang Bang Bang!!

(Via Gorillamask)

It's official..

I'm finally done with school! I never thought I'd make it, but this monkey is actually set to graduate! No more classes, all-nighters, tests, or presentations EVER! Finally, it's all over!!! I'm taking the rest of the day off...time to pop bottles..

Bjork Meets Diddy

Labels: pictures

Picture Of The Day

Labels: pictures

Weirdo Beat Box

Space Colony Art circa 1970

Dante Sings!

Folks, please open your ears and your hearts as Dante sings the theme from "Exodus" on the 1987 show Stairway to Stardom. I'm partial to anyone who looks like a Klingon from the original Star Trek series, but I suspect the secret to his appeal and singing prowess lies buried somewhere deep inside his galactic space medallion. I want to marry that thing.

Baby Suit

Just think, for only $2,300 you can buy Phillip Toledano's baby suit. I could see Marvel making a superhero out of this guy. He'd use the powers of his screams to explode heads and shoots babies out of his hands instead of lasers. I'd so read that comic.

(via BB)

Labels: pictures

falling barking stupid felines

I don't like cats. I've had dogs all my life, and I guess I'm just used to loyalty. Cats have their own agendas. Clearly they are less trustworthy. And I don't buy that crap about people saying cats are smarter than dogs. Just because they crap in a box and land on their feet if you throw them across the room doesn't mean they're bright. In fact, I'd argue that they are as equally retarded as our canine friends. Some are so stupid they don't even know they are cats:

Picture Of The Day

Labels: pictures

Blazin' Hazen: Return of Average Homeboy

Van Dust Art

Instead of being one of those dickheads who write "clean me!" on the sides of dirty vehicles, someone with time and talent decided to make a really cool dust painting on the side of a creepy molester van. Check it out:

BJ The Messenger: "Crackhead"

Take a second and imagine if Rerun from What's Happening made a man-baby with Mexican luchador Santo. Now imagine if he wore Eric B rope chains and rapped. Folks, I give you BJ the Messenger, the king of masked hip hop consciousness. Now if you come to my site, there's a 50/50 chance you're probably a crackhead. So listen to his powerful message about the perils of the rock and you might just be saved.

Sand Castles Gallery

Every year in Harrison Hot Springs, British Columbia, a sand sculpture competition takes place..Check out the gallery below..Some of the past entries are amazing, but I'm definetely partial to one with the band leader feeding beer to a monkey..

Wicked Japanese Sucker Punch

According to Hiphopraps.com, Akiyuki Nosaka and Nagisa Ohshima are the 50 Cent and Ja Rule of Japan. Ok, I lied. But apparently there is some bad blood between them as evidenced by this fantastic clip. Some stuff gets said I don't understand, then Ohshima gets his chin touched and responds with a side winder microphone face smash. Glorious.

World Beard Championship Gallery

Picture Of The Day

I smell Platinum plaques. Truth be told, I already like this better than the Kelis version. I would love to hear a Neptunes remix with some Harpsichords and madrigal singing. That would be "fire".

(thanks Gabe!)

Labels: pictures

Tom Cruise Busts Moves

Neo meets Yo-Yo

This is from Japan. And it's weird. Shocker, I know. Great for fans of Yo-Yo's, Japanese game shows, The Matrix, and strangely unsettling voice overs.

Giant Gallery

Teddy Bear Gun

Gun-shaped teddy bear crackers ready to liven up wedding receptions

IMABARI, Ehime -- A paint firm here is hoping to add color to wedding receptions in Japan with a new device it has jointly developed -- a gun-shaped party cracker that shoots out a teddy bear.

Sunamiya, a paint firm based in Imabari, Ehime Prefecture, announced the development of the device, which blasts a teddy bear equipped with a parachute into the air. The teddy bear parachutes down afterwards.

Developers hit on the idea after noticing that it had become a trend for people to throw teddy bears into the air instead of bouquets at wedding receptions.

In addition to paint products, Sunamiya produces a paintball marker used to fire paintballs at escaping criminals so they can be identified and captured.

"We're hoping to capture the hearts of couples," a company representative said, commenting on the new device.

The crackers will go on sale in May, and will be marketed to businesses. (Mainichi)

(via)

Calamari Wrestler

Picture Of The Day

Labels: pictures

Bobby Knight: Golf (And Potty Mouth) Your Way

Many years ago while coaching in Indiana, notorious crazy person and filth mouth king Bobby Knight hosted a golf show called "Golf Your Way". After watching this 9 minute clip of outtakes, I am in awe. Mr. Knight is a true profanity jedi. He's like a deadly ninja, except he's obese and uses F Bombs instead of shurikens. My favorite line from this glorious clip:

"Jesus Christ all fucking mighty with that cock sucking fucking bullshit!"

Bravo, sir. You have inspired me to reach deep within to find that champion of profanity I know I have inside me.

(via Gorillamask)

Guitar Face

Let's face it, sometimes in order to make good art you gotta look like a tweaker. You know the face...that half orgasm squint, half stub-your-toe look that rockers get when ripping power chords or doing solos.. This is a sweet gallery of feathered hair, contorted rock mugs, and general face weirdness courtesy of WFMU's Beware of the Blog...

"I was just hunting UFOs"

Hoff: Song of the Night