Check out these super-fresh retro ads from Ebony from the 70's. Is it just me, or does every one of those pimp motherfuckers look like a goddamned superhero? If I had the confidence of half of these models, I could take over the omniverse in about 50 seconds with my super high-octane style and panache. I feel like these guys were designed by some MIT students that typed "fucking jive ass super awesome" into their mega nerd supercomputer 10 miles beneath Cambridge. My God, that collar alone could fight crime. I bet dollars to donuts Batman would cry like Jimmy fucking Swaggart if one of these boss ass bastards pimp limped into Wayne mansion.