Picture Of The Day

When I was a kid my Mom told me that when I smiled for pictures I looked like I was smelling a rat. These guys took that concept and ran with it. It's also worth noting that the gentleman on the bottom left looks like he's transforming into the wolfman. Or he might just be fighting the handlebar mustache status-quo of his band mates by rocking the totally revolutionary upside down handlebar beard.

(via my new favorite blog)

1999 A.D.- Shopping From Home

Oh the glory of grainy educational film strips from future past. This is from "1999 A.D." in which we see what shopping will be like in the future. Watch as the wife selects things to buy on her "console", then see the reluctant frustrated husband pay the bill on his separate (but presumably equal) console. Oh, sexism. You're truly the cockroach of social inequalities. Not even the far distant year of 1999 can extinguish your power.

(For more retro visions of the future, check out this awesome year 2000 Flickr pool...)

Chinese Store Clerks Customer Guide

"No money no touch"? Just what kind of store is this?

(via boingboing)

James Brown - FutureShock

In the olden days, when mustache was king, James Brown had a Soul Train-esque program called Futureshock..Check out this radical clip from the show. The screenplay probably read something like this:

James Brown enters. He proceeds to say some things that sound awesome but don't really mean anything. He then proceeds to set it off, raises the roof, lets the dogs out, puts his thing down, gets into it, activates the sex machine, shakes it like a Polaroid picture, and turns it loose. He repeats if necessary.

The crowd becomes infected by his hypnotic gyrations. A wave of excitement rolls over them. They begin to dance furiously, almost as if ants live inside their pants. They repeat if necessary.

(via Bedazzled)

Darth Vader Feels Blue

God damn that Anakin's got soul.

Cartoon Plane Crash

For more evidence that the physics found in cartoons isn't always wrong, check out this photo of a plane crash in Florida.



(via neatorama)

Ad of the Day

All that this ad says to me is that the marketing director for Brylcream was stuck in the 50's.

(via eatliver)

Top of the Mountain, Ma

Just to prove that China has a sense of humor too, Chinese artist Xu Zhen claims to have scaled Mt. Everest, cut off the top, and brought it down to be displayed as a work of art. Also, Chinese reporter Zhuo Yongsheng claims to have video of a kind of loch ness monster found in a Tian Chi Lake. The following "evidence" should put any doubt of lake monsters to rest.

(via artthreat)

Picture Of The Day

Pluto Lets The Dogs Out

As if it doesn't suck enough to be a fucking mascot at Disneyland, this poor guy gets judo tossed by some lady for doing nothing but terrorizing a small child. I wonder what he did to get under Pluto's fur. It probably involves his obnoxious little foot and Pluto's androgynous private region. Walt is totally spinning in his hermetically sealed cryo-grave.

(via boing boing)

Tyra's Exclusive Britney Interview

So I watched the VMA's, and I'll spare you my recap of Britney's "performance." Suffice it to say my reaction was alot like this:

I really felt like someone should say something to her to set her straight. Where are all the sycophantic talking heads of the world media when we really need them? Someone should sit her down and grab her by her glittered shoulders and shake her like a fucking etch-a-sketch until she sees the bloody awful train wreck that is her existence. Luckily Tyra beat em all to the punch with this exclusive.

Knify Newsreel

Doesn't everything sound better when narrated in the 50's newsreel style? That's how to get people back into movie theaters. Replace trailers and trivia with some propaganda disguised as news and some pre-movie cartoons.

Somebody give that man a PhD in puns.

God I miss the good old days...

It's Hip to Zip

The Hep Cat's zip code PSA. I always thought that using zip codes was a scheme that "the man" made up to waste my precious time but Sammy Davis Jr set me straight.

(via adflip)

Superman Does Some Good

My local baseball stadium has a miracle of Thirsty Thursdays but I don't think cheap beer is what Superman has in mind.

Upper Lip, Slick and Hip

Since there seems to be a lot of posts about mustaches lately, I thought I'd add this oldie but goodie.

Botten Stars

Holler at your boys.

TV Motion Logos From Future Past

This is a five minute compilation of those jive TV intros from back in the day that all looked like they were made in the world of Tron and scored by a Cylon with a Moog keytar. I fucking love these things. They are like 5 second glimpses into a strange world I wish I could live in.

(via Boing Boing)

Nick Cage: City Defender

I'd love to see him battle Mcconaughey.

Rick Astley's 4 Step Program

(via myconfinedspace)

Cricket: Bloody Damn Good Cologne

Here's another gem from my boys over at Sweatervest...Cricket: the cologne that transforms mortal men into mustachioed living gods. I think I'd drink that stuff if it made me as boss as this guy is.

Black Metal Food Court

That soda would go perfect with a bur-grrrrrr.

Geraldo Started It All

Before Jerry Springer made fighting on television mainstream, there was Geraldo and his fantastic program filled with skinheads, barking zealots, and adorable misunderstandings. This clip is like the Mayflower of television skirmishes. Cheers to you, Geraldo. PS: your mustache is still relevant, and macho as ever.

Picture of the Day

If you're new to outside, let me just warn you that some NPC AIs are not that incredible.

Broom Your Way to Victory

I was in Seattle visiting my friend Kid Dammit during the last winter olympics and we spent several hours deciphering the sport of curling. You know, the sport that's heating up the spot. Any sport that encourages people to become a methed up OCD janitor on ice gets the thumbs up in my book. I also favor the dramatic pose necessary to make one of those deft sliding tosses.

You can't force people to be that happy. I really want to play but I hear that only the Swiss and Canadians are allowed. Until I become one of those types of people, I'll have to settle for bocce ball, my back yard, high grass and rakes.

Blind Magic

I live close to Detroit and let me tell you; these guys love Stevie Wonder. As well they should. That kid is a little wonder. I read somewhere that he'll occasionally take over an instrument for one of the musicians in his band and unintentionally embarrass them with his awesome skills. I don't know how true that is but here's a sweet Stevie wonder drum solo.

Special Olympics

Some one got the bright idea to update Monty Python's upper class twit of the year sketch to involve hipsters. It's not quite as fun to watch as the naked wresting of the original Olympics but still worth a viewing.

The original Python sketch made me spit milk out my nose as a kid.

The Gossip - Listen Up

The last song for the night is from the Gossip. Try not to tap your foot to this song. I fucking double dog dare you. And the cross-dressing disco dancing is spectacular...

Armand Van Helden - I Want Your Soul

You know how sometimes representations of previous eras on television or film can seem forced? Like you can picture some sweaty director screaming, "We're on a tight deadline, so tie a bandana around her acid washed jeans and let's shoot this fucker!!!" But sometimes you find that movie or video or photo that nails it, totally captures a previous era without seeming like it's TRYING. Boogie Nights is in this category. Dazed and Confused. And in the spirit of authentic throwback vibes, check out the new track from Armand Van Helden's newest offering:

The high-top fades, the spandex, the dance moves, to say nothing of the throwback late 80s/early 90s New York freestyle sound throughout, fucking dead on.

And to indulge in a little bit more nostalgia for shoulder pads and spandex, peep the source for the vocal sample:

Joell Ortiz

People still make good hip hop, heads like Joell Ortiz, who absolutely WRECKS it on this track. It's 5 minutes of straight verse, no hook. And it's fucking GOOD. Bonus: Brooklyn Bullshit

Justice - D.A.N.C.E.

Sorry about the lack of music posts lately, my computer is dying a slow and inevitable death as I type (I backed up all my files today just in case), and I think it only fair that I share a few of the joints I've been hoarding for the last few weeks.

This song has been out for a while now, I keep discovering new and fucking awesome remixes of this track. And I am a whore for ironic t-shirts, making this video a choice selection for hipsters everywhere. If you're trainspotting, peep the Plus Move Pirate Remix of this song, and the Jackson Remix Doing J.A.H.C.B. remix is epic.