Broom Your Way to Victory

I was in Seattle visiting my friend Kid Dammit during the last winter olympics and we spent several hours deciphering the sport of curling. You know, the sport that's heating up the spot. Any sport that encourages people to become a methed up OCD janitor on ice gets the thumbs up in my book. I also favor the dramatic pose necessary to make one of those deft sliding tosses.

You can't force people to be that happy. I really want to play but I hear that only the Swiss and Canadians are allowed. Until I become one of those types of people, I'll have to settle for bocce ball, my back yard, high grass and rakes.