Picture Of The Day

Labels: awkward smiling

1999 A.D.- Shopping From Home

Labels: the future is narrated by baritone-voiced creeps

Chinese Store Clerks Customer Guide

Labels: Commerce, Foreign Relations

James Brown - FutureShock

In the olden days, when mustache was king, James Brown had a Soul Train-esque program called Futureshock..Check out this radical clip from the show. The screenplay probably read something like this:

James Brown enters. He proceeds to say some things that sound awesome but don't really mean anything. He then proceeds to set it off, raises the roof, lets the dogs out, puts his thing down, gets into it, activates the sex machine, shakes it like a Polaroid picture, and turns it loose. He repeats if necessary.

The crowd becomes infected by his hypnotic gyrations. A wave of excitement rolls over them. They begin to dance furiously, almost as if ants live inside their pants. They repeat if necessary.

Labels: Feel so nice I wanna kiss myself

Darth Vader Feels Blue

Labels: Blues, Lords of The Sith

Cartoon Plane Crash

For more evidence that the physics found in cartoons isn't always wrong, check out this photo of a plane crash in Florida.



(via neatorama)

Labels: cartoon physics

Ad of the Day

All that this ad says to me is that the marketing director for Brylcream was stuck in the 50's.

(via eatliver)

Labels: 1970's, advertising, For further proof that I'm a square take a look at my portfolio

Top of the Mountain, Ma

Just to prove that China has a sense of humor too, Chinese artist Xu Zhen claims to have scaled Mt. Everest, cut off the top, and brought it down to be displayed as a work of art. Also, Chinese reporter Zhuo Yongsheng claims to have video of a kind of loch ness monster found in a Tian Chi Lake. The following "evidence" should put any doubt of lake monsters to rest.

(via artthreat)

Labels: china has a sense of humor

Picture Of The Day

Labels: Sports

Pluto Lets The Dogs Out

Labels: Fury of the Furries

Tyra's Exclusive Britney Interview

So I watched the VMA's, and I'll spare you my recap of Britney's "performance." Suffice it to say my reaction was alot like this:

Labels: Britney, Interview, Tyra

Knify Newsreel

Doesn't everything sound better when narrated in the 50's newsreel style? That's how to get people back into movie theaters. Replace trailers and trivia with some propaganda disguised as news and some pre-movie cartoons.

Somebody give that man a PhD in puns.

Labels: happy go lucky propaganda

God I miss the good old days...

Labels: children, coal, trains

It's Hip to Zip

The Hep Cat's zip code PSA. I always thought that using zip codes was a scheme that "the man" made up to waste my precious time but Sammy Davis Jr set me straight.

(via adflip)

Labels: postal spokespeople

Superman Does Some Good

My local baseball stadium has a miracle of Thirsty Thursdays but I don't think cheap beer is what Superman has in mind.

Labels: Pompous Superman

Upper Lip, Slick and Hip

Since there seems to be a lot of posts about mustaches lately, I thought I'd add this oldie but goodie.

Labels: why are there so many songs about mustaches and what's on the other side

Botten Stars

Labels: The World's Freshest DJ Crew

TV Motion Logos From Future Past

This is a five minute compilation of those jive TV intros from back in the day that all looked like they were made in the world of Tron and scored by a Cylon with a Moog keytar. I fucking love these things. They are like 5 second glimpses into a strange world I wish I could live in.

Labels: Sit, Ubu..Sit. Good dog.

Nick Cage: City Defender

Labels: balding semi-talented relatives of Francis Ford Copolla

Rick Astley's 4 Step Program

Labels: 80's music, Conan O'Brien hair

Cricket: Bloody Damn Good Cologne

Labels: cologne, cricket, deeq

Black Metal Food Court

Labels: malls

Geraldo Started It All

Labels: hard hitting journalism

Picture of the Day

If you're new to outside, let me just warn you that some NPC AIs are not that incredible.

Labels: internets

Broom Your Way to Victory

I was in Seattle visiting my friend Kid Dammit during the last winter olympics and we spent several hours deciphering the sport of curling. You know, the sport that's heating up the spot. Any sport that encourages people to become a methed up OCD janitor on ice gets the thumbs up in my book. I also favor the dramatic pose necessary to make one of those deft sliding tosses.

You can't force people to be that happy. I really want to play but I hear that only the Swiss and Canadians are allowed. Until I become one of those types of people, I'll have to settle for bocce ball, my back yard, high grass and rakes.

Labels: curling, Sports

Blind Magic

I live close to Detroit and let me tell you; these guys love Stevie Wonder. As well they should. That kid is a little wonder. I read somewhere that he'll occasionally take over an instrument for one of the musicians in his band and unintentionally embarrass them with his awesome skills. I don't know how true that is but here's a sweet Stevie wonder drum solo.

Labels: Music, steve wonder

Special Olympics

Some one got the bright idea to update Monty Python's upper class twit of the year sketch to involve hipsters. It's not quite as fun to watch as the naked wresting of the original Olympics but still worth a viewing.

The original Python sketch made me spit milk out my nose as a kid.

Labels: hipsters

The Gossip - Listen Up

The last song for the night is from the Gossip. Try not to tap your foot to this song. I fucking double dog dare you. And the cross-dressing disco dancing is spectacular...

Labels: Music, the gossip

Armand Van Helden - I Want Your Soul

You know how sometimes representations of previous eras on television or film can seem forced? Like you can picture some sweaty director screaming, "We're on a tight deadline, so tie a bandana around her acid washed jeans and let's shoot this fucker!!!" But sometimes you find that movie or video or photo that nails it, totally captures a previous era without seeming like it's TRYING. Boogie Nights is in this category. Dazed and Confused. And in the spirit of authentic throwback vibes, check out the new track from Armand Van Helden's newest offering:

The high-top fades, the spandex, the dance moves, to say nothing of the throwback late 80s/early 90s New York freestyle sound throughout, fucking dead on.

And to indulge in a little bit more nostalgia for shoulder pads and spandex, peep the source for the vocal sample:

Labels: armand van helden, Music, old school

Joell Ortiz

People still make good hip hop, heads like Joell Ortiz, who absolutely WRECKS it on this track. It's 5 minutes of straight verse, no hook. And it's fucking GOOD. Bonus: Brooklyn Bullshit

Labels: hip hop, Joell Ortiz, Music, old school

Justice - D.A.N.C.E.

Sorry about the lack of music posts lately, my computer is dying a slow and inevitable death as I type (I backed up all my files today just in case), and I think it only fair that I share a few of the joints I've been hoarding for the last few weeks.

This song has been out for a while now, I keep discovering new and fucking awesome remixes of this track. And I am a whore for ironic t-shirts, making this video a choice selection for hipsters everywhere. If you're trainspotting, peep the Plus Move Pirate Remix of this song, and the Jackson Remix Doing J.A.H.C.B. remix is epic.

Labels: Jackson and His Computer Band, Justice, Plus Move