When this lady woke up the day this aired I bet she didn't think "I wonder if a fat bearded yokel will grab me by my face and french me today?" Well if she did, she's the fucking Nostradamus of crappy local news reporters. Sir, you look like Santa Claus on a Moonshine bender. Please pull it together. I love your hat, though. Looking at it makes me feel like I sniffed a line of uncut America.