Nevermind that he looks like the steroid dealer for the 1986 Chicago Bears. Bobby J is fucking CEO of the International Boss Corporation. Watching Mr. J's constant Gormley-esque Powerstancing and his unique brand of reluctant mandancery, I feel like Harry Hamlin fighting Medusa in 'Clash of the Titans'. God he's cool. He's like the last Boss on the NES game you never finished because after a while you got so sick of trying to beat him you decided that the game was too hard and just said "Fuck it" and spent the rest of the afternoon burning your frontal lobes out watching cartoons sitting too close to the TV eating ice cream until your face hurt.
I want to crush him up, sniff him, check myself into rehab for awesome addiction, then get pretentious and preachy about it when other people tell me they have a grip on their Bobby J habit.