Monkeys For Helping: International Monkey Power!

Boy oh boy. The internet is awesome. I installed this site meter thingy a few weeks ago, and there is this cool map feature that tells you where people are visiting from. I am blown away by some of these places! It's so cool that my gay words and stupid pictures are being seen by people all over the world. I feel like I'm on that creepy ride at Disney It's a Small World where those demon-faced cherubic mannequins sing to you in all different languages from around the globe, except that ride scared the shit out of me out and this makes me happy. I've kept track over the last few weeks, and aside from the States, you folks are coming from some far reaching places...Namely:

Delhi, India
Tokyo, Japan
The Phillipines
Queensland, Melbourne Australia
Hong Kong, China
Madrid, Castilla La Mancha, Spain
Zurich Switzerland
Athens, Greece
Sao Paolo, Brazil
Cairo, Egypt
Limburg, Netherlands
Reykjavk, Iceland
Laufamholz, Hamburg Germany
Lambeth + London, United Kingdom
Stockholm, Sweden
Assels, Brussels Belgium
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Valparaso, Chile
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Moscow, Russia

So in honor of your fine countries and in the spirit of education, I shall attempt to translate the only word that matters in English into your native tongues for the benefit of us silly Americans and those readers who wish to expand their simian knowledge:

America, Canada: Monkey
India: Bandara
Japan: Saru
Phillipines: Unggoy
Australia: Tree Dingo
China: Hóu zi
Spain: Mono
Switzerland: Schimgia
Greece: Pithikos
Brazil: Macaco
Netherlands: Aap
Iceland: Api
Germany: Affe
United Kingdom: Cheeky Monkey
Sweden: Apekatt
Belgium: Singe
Saudi Arabia: سَعْدان
Russia: обезьяна

Hurray! The Internet has brought us all together. Unlike Whitney Houston, I believe the children aren't our future. It's the monkeys that will bring us all together.

In closing...