My God, this video is icey cold, fresh to death, and completely off the meat rack. Tell me there's nothing more fantastic than an old lady DJ'ing. Dare I say jive, boss, hype, dope, ill, and stupid hot. Insert your favorite crunktastic descriptions as you see fit. Seriously, how much would you like to high five this lady. I'd probably bear hug her and make her instantly uncomfortable.
I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, but you got Peppered. Just take it, don't try and ignore it. Embrace the pain. Find the calm still inside the anguish. Brian Peppers and the Hoff together at last.. It's like having a Zen master wipe your mind then gouge your eyes out.
Check out this nice compilation of screaming "noooos!" from a crapload of movies. It's great for screamiacs and people who like the word "no" repeated a shitload of times. Also great for film nerds. Or blog nerds. or non-denominational nerds with no particular nerd genre proclivity. Just press play.
Dear internet God: Thank you for listening to my prayers. I've been looking for footage of this movie for a longtime, and I thank you for granting me a moment of joy and a brief respite from my sad little life. I'll always remember that you showed me the crappiest, shittiest, worst, most awful thing I've ever seen. And in doing so, you showed me how truly amazing copyright raping foreign knockoffs can truly be. Internet, your power is glorious. You are the General Zod to my fallen Metropolis.
All hail Chiran fucking Jeevi. The king of Tollywood who brought you Indian Thriller is back with an awesomely craptastic action sequence featuring the absolute worst special effect ever put to celluloid. This is like a everlasting gobstopper filled with delicious stupidity and foreign fantastic. I almost cried a tear down my silly nerd face. Dear sweet god, it's just about perfect.
JK people..I would never tell you to STFU. IMHO, it is I who should be told to STFU for telling you to STFU, and should allow you to LOL or perhaps even ROFL at the fact that this blog internet website was totally PAWNED the last several days. Blog life has been temporarily upstaged by real life, (read: work is kicking my gorilla ass upside down all over town) but don't fret, I've injected my monkeys with cafe mocha and fed them a tray of delicious cocaine sandwiches to keep them on their j-o-b for you and me. No time for slacking. We got monkey magic to make, and little time left to do it. That being said, let's get to it. Binary brethren, get shiny and happy. These monkeys are GO!!
My God, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Apparently this comes from the archives of a local TV station, where the voice-over person decided to record another version of the AFSCME union commercial for fun. So perfect. Just watch. I can't get enough of it. It's like Jerky Boys meets Welcome Back Kotter. Fantasmo.
That is by far the strangest blog post title I've ever written. And this is yet another fantastically strange illusion video from Japan. Strange and Japan in the same sentence? Shocker, I know. They go together like bees and honey. Or Ann Coulter and offensive. Or me and peanut butter. Or killer robots and the future. Or this blog and elementary school level writing.
This thing is awesome!! Make your own motivational posters to briefly amuse your friends/colleagues/and loved ones. Or make them to amuse yourself and the little people that control the machines inside your brain. You get the idea. Check out mine..feel free to print it and hand it out at hip hop concerts.
British artist Benedict Radcliffe built a Subaru Impreza wire frame car. Holy shit, Houston..we have a problem. This nerd just made a dirt in his Spiderman underpants. This is seriously the best thing created on Earth since the invention of frozen Coca Cola. Wow..
Noam Chomsky and Yoda have alot in common. Both are old, both are wicked smart, both have the force, and both battle evil with the powers of their mind. Plus, Noam Chomsky lives in a small hut next to a swamp. (It's a fact. Google it.)
In all seriousness, I got the chance to hear him speak last year and it was so amazing I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to dropkick myself in the face 56 times before I could understand the fucking science this man was dropping on me. Check him out and get your learn on.
I once watched Goodfellas in Spanish and found the experience really enjoyable. There is definitely a strange world where translation voice actors run wild. Allowed to be there own Scorceses and Kubricks, these invisible thespians throw their all into their work, and the results are nothing short of, well, weird enough to amuse me briefly. Is it just me, or is Italian Fresh Prince much more enthusiastic than Will Smith? Listen to him go!
So I went back to work..which means posting will be irregular for a few days, at least until I can remember what it was like to be exhausted and still monkey it up on the nerd machine nightly before falling asleep on the couch watching poker tourneys or My Super Sweet 16 re-runs. Don't worry, I'll jam pack the stupid in easy to digest bite size portions. In the meantime, have some cake..
Man! The future is now! The world is about to get all Minority Report on our asses. This is the coolest thing I've seen without the aid of a time machine. Apparently in the future even doing a excel spreadsheet will look like The Matrix. All this thing needs is a smoking techno soundtrack and Keanu Reeves will come out of nowhere and karate kick it in the face. People are going to need popcorn to go to work once this comes out. So frigging cool.
I move around a lot when I sleep. It could be the fact that I'm usually engaged in a riveting alien invasion/apocalypse driven plot line in my dream world. When I was a kid, I had a bunk bed and would sometimes wake up in the morning on the top bunk. I've been known to kick people out of bed, snore, sleep talk, and who knows what else. You could say I'm a pretty big bastard in the R.E.M. state.
David Ichioka did a series of interesting time-lapse pictures of different people sleeping. Worth a look. Check it out HERE.
I always wished I could play drums. I tried to learn once, but I didn't seem to have to coordination. I would love to have spent years training just so I could play Drum and Bass and drive my neighbors up the fucking walls. I've always loved the sound, since way back, when it used to be just called "Jungle". I remember my buddy Henry bringing me to my first Rave, and hearing DnB changed my brain forever. I loved how frantic and methodical it sounded. I loved the time stretched snares, and the rolling basslines...I loved how it made me want to jump into my own head and challenge my brain to a breakdance battle. And I still love it if the track is tight.
Check out KJ Sawka in a radio station banging out Live DnB with nothing but a sampler and a drum kit. Fucking boss.
Riding the rails in the Big Apple is an unique part of living in New York, and people watching on the train can be an interesting experience. (Check out my post at The Unbeatable's new site The Bedford Hillsian, a blog I'll be contributing to from now on..)
Check out Child Of Atom's awesome series of sketches of people riding the subway. He really managed to capture that frozen face poker playing robot look that I've come to know so well.
This is a video for 70's french band The Martin Circus. Check out this rag tag bunch of Zappa-esque 70's Euro misfits doing there thing. The first part of this video is like Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut meets Carneval in Rio. After about a minute of weirdness, we are introduced to the band. The lead singer looks like Tony Iommi from Black Sabbath in a cape and slippers, and the rest of them look like a velour-wrapped tourist group from beyond the fifth dimension. My kind of clip.
Talk about phoning it in. This commercial is horrible. The ad wizards behind this must have been convinced that totally terrifying eagles are what's "hot" with the kids. And maybe the casting director should have thought twice about hiring his talent at the local Poison concert. That being said, this is 30 seconds of glorious pain. Kind of like getting punched in the beans by a famous dwarf or child actor. Hard to endure, but memorable nonetheless.
When I stay up too late inter-nerding, my brain begins to hum like an over saturated synth. I love that sound. I guess that explains why the cacophonous cornucopia of digital noise in this clip is somehow strangely soothing to me.
This is a medley of synthesizer magic constructed by 80's tech wizards Herbie Hancock, Howard Jones, Thomas Dolby, and Stevie Wonder. They performed this at the 1985 Grammy Awards in LA to what I imagine must have been a stunned crowd. I love it. All it needs is a flock of seagulls flying overhead and rollerbladers jumping over the stage in Jams and Zubaz to be proclaimed the most 80's moment of all time. Radical.
Yeah, I know. Another dancing post. Who are you, the blog police? Just watch. They aren't technically robots, but they are pretty damn close. This is one of the coolest routines I've ever seen. And when you get bored, you can mix and match them yourselves HERE..
I was checking out The Unbeatable's blog today, and was introduced to a show that is clearly something I need to see more of. BBC ran a show called "Look Around You" that's a brilliant satire of old science and educational films made for school classrooms. In this episode, we are introduced to a man named Synthesizer Patel, who shows us the amazing world of synthesizers. I guarantee you'll learn something. I learned that they can recreate any sound, except a Bassoon. And I learned that because so many bastards steal them, they are usually fitted with burglar alarms.
Also check out this clip from the "Music 2000" episode where we are introduced to "Rap":
I admit I don't know much. I don't know if aliens exist. I don't know if I'll ever be rich. I don't even know how computers work. But I do know that Japanese TV producers have got me and and the entire Japanese culture-jocking fanboy demographic captivated with their relentless ingenuity. Watch "Rainbowman" scare people while hiding in floors and behind a magic eye poster. One girl even cries. Which totally turns my frown upside down.
This just in: Someone over in England has trained assistance dogs to bang the bricks. Color me amazed. Just look at them go!
From the article.."The pooches are among an army of 'assistance dogs' who have been trained to withdraw money from cash machines for their disabled owners.
They are adept at inserting and withdrawing cards at ATMs to help owners in wheelchairs who are often not able to stretch far enough to do it themselves.
A spokesman for charity Canine Partners, which trains the dogs, said: 'They put in the card and take it out and take out the money and give it to the person in the wheelchair.
'They can't put in the Pin but a person in a wheelchair can go sideways on and do that.'
Up to 30 dogs are trained each year and the charity is hoping to double that figure next year. It takes two years to train them, in which time they also learn to load the washing and pick up items from shop shelves."