Monkeys For Helping

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Picture Of The Day

Dear Lord. I really hope we don't go to war with these guys.

(via Eatliver)

Labels: pictures

posted at 11:59 PM by Recon
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Sue Teller Mashes It Up

My God, this video is icey cold, fresh to death, and completely off the meat rack. Tell me there's nothing more fantastic than an old lady DJ'ing. Dare I say jive, boss, hype, dope, ill, and stupid hot. Insert your favorite crunktastic descriptions as you see fit. Seriously, how much would you like to high five this lady. I'd probably bear hug her and make her instantly uncomfortable.

(via noelheikkinen)

Labels: Boss

posted at 11:52 PM by Recon
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Museumr

Mueseumr: it takes your Flickr photos and makes them look like a museum shot. Take my beautiful example of Jesse The Body Ventura in his golden prime:

Don't front, you know you'd hang that in your living room. Make your own HERE.

(via Digg)

Labels: pictures

posted at 11:48 PM by Recon
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Warning: Brian Peppers Causes Blindness

I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, but you got Peppered. Just take it, don't try and ignore it. Embrace the pain. Find the calm still inside the anguish. Brian Peppers and the Hoff together at last.. It's like having a Zen master wipe your mind then gouge your eyes out.

Labels: gif

posted at 11:34 PM by Recon
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Nooooo! Compilation

Check out this nice compilation of screaming "noooos!" from a crapload of movies. It's great for screamiacs and people who like the word "no" repeated a shitload of times. Also great for film nerds. Or blog nerds. or non-denominational nerds with no particular nerd genre proclivity. Just press play.

(via M&C)

Labels: Mash Up

posted at 11:25 PM by Recon
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Flying Hell Cat Dislikes Children

and...boom goes the dynamite.

Labels: gif

posted at 11:21 PM by Recon
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Monday, March 26, 2007

Picture Of The Day

Booze Bob Puke pants.

Labels: pictures

posted at 12:11 AM by Recon
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Turkish Star Wars: The Finale

Dear internet God: Thank you for listening to my prayers. I've been looking for footage of this movie for a long time, and I thank you for granting me a moment of joy and a brief respite from my sad little life. I'll always remember that you showed me the crappiest, shittiest, worst, most awful thing I've ever seen. And in doing so, you showed me how truly amazing copyright raping foreign knockoffs can truly be. Internet, your power is glorious. You are the General Zod to my fallen Metropolis.

Labels: Turkish Cinema

posted at 12:02 AM by Recon
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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Mr. T Doesn't Want You To Poop

This is like the exact opposite of the brilliant (and now dead) website JGIWYP...damn I miss that site!

(via Weird Asian News)

Labels: Mr. T, Poop

posted at 11:54 PM by Recon
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This...is....JENGA!!!

Labels: gif

posted at 11:53 PM by Recon
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SNL: Peyton Manning: United Way

Can't...stop...laughing.

(thanks Mr. Awesome!)

Labels: SNL

posted at 11:47 PM by Recon
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900th post!!!!!

Happy 900th post!!! Woohoo!! Thanks to all of you, without whom many monkeys would undoubtedly go hungry.

"M4H: Biting you on the balls since 2005"

posted at 11:40 PM by Recon
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Whammy Faces

That kid in the middle is giving Brian Peppers a run for his money.

(thanks to Drums and Scace for the Donkey one!)

Labels: pictures, whammy face

posted at 11:34 PM by Recon
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Chiranjeevi Horse Skid

All hail Chiran fucking Jeevi. The king of Tollywood who brought you Indian Thriller is back with an awesomely craptastic action sequence featuring the absolute worst special effect ever put to celluloid. This is like a everlasting gobstopper filled with delicious stupidity and foreign fantastic. I almost cried a tear down my silly nerd face. Dear sweet god, it's just about perfect.

(via say no to crack)

Labels: animals, crappy, fx, Tollywood

posted at 11:16 PM by Recon
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Sweet, delicious Blogahol, I missed you so..

JK people..I would never tell you to STFU. IMHO, it is I who should be told to STFU for telling you to STFU, and should allow you to LOL or perhaps even ROFL at the fact that this blog internet website was totally PAWNED the last several days. Blog life has been temporarily upstaged by real life, (read: work is kicking my gorilla ass upside down all over town) but don't fret, I've injected my monkeys with cafe mocha and fed them a tray of delicious cocaine sandwiches to keep them on their j-o-b for you and me. No time for slacking. We got monkey magic to make, and little time left to do it. That being said, let's get to it. Binary brethren, get shiny and happy. These monkeys are GO!!

Labels: excuses

posted at 10:51 PM by Recon
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Friday, March 16, 2007

Picture Of The Day

(via Yayhooray)

Labels: pictures

posted at 2:48 AM by Recon
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AFSCME-The Fu*king Union That Works For You!

My God, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Apparently this comes from the archives of a local TV station, where the voice-over person decided to record another version of the AFSCME union commercial for fun. So perfect. Just watch. I can't get enough of it. It's like Jerky Boys meets Welcome Back Kotter. Fantasmo.

(via videosift)

Labels: commercials, Retro

posted at 2:36 AM by Recon
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Japanese Marshmallow Arkanoid/Breakout

That is by far the strangest blog post title I've ever written. And this is yet another fantastically strange illusion video from Japan. Strange and Japan in the same sentence? Shocker, I know. They go together like bees and honey. Or Ann Coulter and offensive. Or me and peanut butter. Or killer robots and the future. Or this blog and elementary school level writing.

(via Gorillamask)

Labels: Japan, optical illusion, strange

posted at 2:11 AM by Recon
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Motivational Poster Generator

This thing is awesome!! Make your own motivational posters to briefly amuse your friends/colleagues/and loved ones. Or make them to amuse yourself and the little people that control the machines inside your brain. You get the idea. Check out mine..feel free to print it and hand it out at hip hop concerts.

(Click pic to make your own!)

(via myconfinedspace)

Labels: generators, posters

posted at 2:06 AM by Recon
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Say it ain't so, Bambi...

(via WTF_OMGZ..careful, this link has some really heavy shit on it!)

Labels: WTF

posted at 1:50 AM by Recon
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Ridiculously Cool Wire Frame Car

British artist Benedict Radcliffe built a Subaru Impreza wire frame car. Holy shit, Houston..we have a problem. This nerd just made a dirt in his Spiderman underpants. This is seriously the best thing created on Earth since the invention of frozen Coca Cola. Wow..

(Click pic for story and more pictures!)

(via Neatorama)

Labels: art, cars, cool

posted at 1:38 AM by Recon
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Noam Chomsky On The BBC

Noam Chomsky and Yoda have alot in common. Both are old, both are wicked smart, both have the force, and both battle evil with the powers of their mind. Plus, Noam Chomsky lives in a small hut next to a swamp. (It's a fact. Google it.)

In all seriousness, I got the chance to hear him speak last year and it was so amazing I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to dropkick myself in the face 56 times before I could understand the fucking science this man was dropping on me. Check him out and get your learn on.

(via videosift)

Labels: Politics

posted at 1:17 AM by Recon
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Picture Of The Day

Little known fact: Randy Savage's pythons cure Cancer.

Labels: pictures

posted at 1:52 AM by Recon
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Italian Fresh Prince

I once watched Goodfellas in Spanish and found the experience really enjoyable. There is definitely a strange world where translation voice actors run wild. Allowed to be there own Scorceses and Kubricks, these invisible thespians throw their all into their work, and the results are nothing short of, well, weird enough to amuse me briefly. Is it just me, or is Italian Fresh Prince much more enthusiastic than Will Smith? Listen to him go!

Labels: strange, TV

posted at 1:41 AM by Recon
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Global Politics In 30 Seconds

Labels: Politics

posted at 1:38 AM by Recon
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He Will Eat Your Soul

I'm really sorry, I just couldn't resist.

Labels: WTF

posted at 1:34 AM by Recon
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Matrixey High Jump

Watch this cool Japanese high jump illusion that makes me double plus happy smile too much. It's so Japanese it makes my English bad. Definitely awesome techno high five party time.

(via Pistolwimp)

Labels: cool, Japan, optical illusion

posted at 1:19 AM by Recon
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Monkey Love Internet, Hate Work

So I went back to work..which means posting will be irregular for a few days, at least until I can remember what it was like to be exhausted and still monkey it up on the nerd machine nightly before falling asleep on the couch watching poker tourneys or My Super Sweet 16 re-runs. Don't worry, I'll jam pack the stupid in easy to digest bite size portions. In the meantime, have some cake..

Labels: excuses

posted at 1:04 AM by Recon
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Friday, March 09, 2007

Picture Of The Day

The guy with the beard has really let himself go.

(via BB)

Labels: pictures

posted at 5:09 PM by Recon
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Perceptive Pixel

Man! The future is now! The world is about to get all Minority Report on our asses. This is the coolest thing I've seen without the aid of a time machine. Apparently in the future even doing a excel spreadsheet will look like The Matrix. All this thing needs is a smoking techno soundtrack and Keanu Reeves will come out of nowhere and karate kick it in the face. People are going to need popcorn to go to work once this comes out. So frigging cool.

(via Transbuddha)

Labels: computers, Tech

posted at 4:58 PM by Recon
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Zach Galifianakis Live

I think this guy is truly one of the funniest comedians around. Between his stuff (and of course the comedy styling of Darryl Bluett), I can't stop myself from cracking up.

Labels: Comedy, stand up

posted at 4:52 PM by Recon
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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Picture Of The Day

Yes, it's real.

Labels: pictures

posted at 8:40 PM by Recon
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Don's Guns

I found this picture of Don a while ago online, and stumbled onto a link to one of his Gun commercials today on Digg. Prepare to be creeped the fuck out.

Nice laugh. Honestly Don, you really couldn't be more of a freakshow.

(via Digg)

Labels: guns, local tv

posted at 8:25 PM by Recon
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Time Lapse Photos: People Sleeping

I move around a lot when I sleep. It could be the fact that I'm usually engaged in a riveting alien invasion/apocalypse driven plot line in my dream world. When I was a kid, I had a bunk bed and would sometimes wake up in the morning on the top bunk. I've been known to kick people out of bed, snore, sleep talk, and who knows what else. You could say I'm a pretty big bastard in the R.E.M. state.

David Ichioka did a series of interesting time-lapse pictures of different people sleeping. Worth a look. Check it out HERE.

(via Cynical-C)

Labels: sleep, time lapse

posted at 6:31 PM by Recon
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KJ Sawka: Live Drum and Bass

I always wished I could play drums. I tried to learn once, but I didn't seem to have to coordination. I would love to have spent years training just so I could play Drum and Bass and drive my neighbors up the fucking walls. I've always loved the sound, since way back, when it used to be just called "Jungle". I remember my buddy Henry bringing me to my first Rave, and hearing DnB changed my brain forever. I loved how frantic and methodical it sounded. I loved the time stretched snares, and the rolling basslines...I loved how it made me want to jump into my own head and challenge my brain to a breakdance battle. And I still love it if the track is tight.

Check out KJ Sawka in a radio station banging out Live DnB with nothing but a sampler and a drum kit. Fucking boss.

(via M&C)

Labels: DnB, Music, Radio

posted at 6:21 PM by Recon
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NYC Subway Sketches

Riding the rails in the Big Apple is an unique part of living in New York, and people watching on the train can be an interesting experience. (Check out my post at The Unbeatable's new site The Bedford Hillsian, a blog I'll be contributing to from now on..)

Check out Child Of Atom's awesome series of sketches of people riding the subway. He really managed to capture that frozen face poker playing robot look that I've come to know so well.

(click pic for gallery!)

(via Reddit)

Labels: art, subway

posted at 6:04 PM by Recon
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The Martin Circus: Senegal

This is a video for 70's french band The Martin Circus. Check out this rag tag bunch of Zappa-esque 70's Euro misfits doing there thing. The first part of this video is like Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut meets Carneval in Rio. After about a minute of weirdness, we are introduced to the band. The lead singer looks like Tony Iommi from Black Sabbath in a cape and slippers, and the rest of them look like a velour-wrapped tourist group from beyond the fifth dimension. My kind of clip.

(via Bedazzled)

Labels: 1970's, Disco, Music

posted at 5:28 PM by Recon
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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Picture Of The Day

Check out this awesome Giant Gundam from the Tawianese Lantern Festival. I just wish it could come to life and battle the giant Chinese Optimus Prime statue. (Which, evidently, is the synopsis of chapter 1 of my latest book: "101 totally boss nerd fantasies".)

(via Unique Daily)

Labels: china, pictures, robots

posted at 9:51 PM by Recon
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It Must Be Eagle Man!

Talk about phoning it in. This commercial is horrible. The ad wizards behind this must have been convinced that totally terrifying eagles are what's "hot" with the kids. And maybe the casting director should have thought twice about hiring his talent at the local Poison concert. That being said, this is 30 seconds of glorious pain. Kind of like getting punched in the beans by a famous dwarf or child actor. Hard to endure, but memorable nonetheless.

(via M&C)

Labels: commercials, strange, WTF

posted at 9:49 PM by Recon
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Sythesizer Medley '85

When I stay up too late inter-nerding, my brain begins to hum like an over saturated synth. I love that sound. I guess that explains why the cacophonous cornucopia of digital noise in this clip is somehow strangely soothing to me.

This is a medley of synthesizer magic constructed by 80's tech wizards Herbie Hancock, Howard Jones, Thomas Dolby, and Stevie Wonder. They performed this at the 1985 Grammy Awards in LA to what I imagine must have been a stunned crowd. I love it. All it needs is a flock of seagulls flying overhead and rollerbladers jumping over the stage in Jams and Zubaz to be proclaimed the most 80's moment of all time. Radical.

Labels: 80's, medley, Music, synthesizer

posted at 9:22 PM by Recon
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U-Min: These Guys Must Be Robots

Yeah, I know. Another dancing post. Who are you, the blog police? Just watch. They aren't technically robots, but they are pretty damn close. This is one of the coolest routines I've ever seen. And when you get bored, you can mix and match them yourselves HERE..

(via Videosift)

Labels: Dance, Japan, robots

posted at 5:07 PM by Recon
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Monday, March 05, 2007

Picture Of The Day

(via myconfinedspace)

Labels: pictures

posted at 8:43 PM by Recon
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Look Around You: Synthesizer Patel

I was checking out The Unbeatable's blog today, and was introduced to a show that is clearly something I need to see more of. BBC ran a show called "Look Around You" that's a brilliant satire of old science and educational films made for school classrooms. In this episode, we are introduced to a man named Synthesizer Patel, who shows us the amazing world of synthesizers. I guarantee you'll learn something. I learned that they can recreate any sound, except a Bassoon. And I learned that because so many bastards steal them, they are usually fitted with burglar alarms.

Also check out this clip from the "Music 2000" episode where we are introduced to "Rap":

ROFL!! Also Check out Ghosts, Music, and Computer Games..

Thanks Vic!

(via The Bedfordhillsian)

Labels: BBC, Comedy, Look Around You

posted at 7:48 PM by Recon
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Rainbow Man Scares The Crap Out Of People

I admit I don't know much. I don't know if aliens exist. I don't know if I'll ever be rich. I don't even know how computers work. But I do know that Japanese TV producers have got me and and the entire Japanese culture-jocking fanboy demographic captivated with their relentless ingenuity. Watch "Rainbowman" scare people while hiding in floors and behind a magic eye poster. One girl even cries. Which totally turns my frown upside down.

(via Weird Asian News)

Labels: Game Show, Japan, scared

posted at 6:03 PM by Recon
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ATM Assistance Dogs

This just in: Someone over in England has trained assistance dogs to bang the bricks. Color me amazed. Just look at them go!

From the article.."The pooches are among an army of 'assistance dogs' who have been trained to withdraw money from cash machines for their disabled owners.

They are adept at inserting and withdrawing cards at ATMs to help owners in wheelchairs who are often not able to stretch far enough to do it themselves.

A spokesman for charity Canine Partners, which trains the dogs, said: 'They put in the card and take it out and take out the money and give it to the person in the wheelchair.

'They can't put in the Pin but a person in a wheelchair can go sideways on and do that.'

Up to 30 dogs are trained each year and the charity is hoping to double that figure next year. It takes two years to train them, in which time they also learn to load the washing and pick up items from shop shelves."

Check out the whole article HERE.

(via Spluch)

Labels: amazing, animals, dogs

posted at 5:54 PM by Recon
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Grafitti Rock: NYC Breakers

Back in '84, when was I caught up watching Spiderman and His Amazing Friends and had no idea what Hip Hop was, a great show called Grafitti Rock came and went. It may have only aired one episode, but it was awesome enough to stand the test of time and become required viewing material for all aspiring rap fanatics alongside classics such as Beat Street, Wild Style, Style Wars, and Krush Groove.

Check out the famous NYC Breakers doing there thing in this awesome clip. You just gotta love Breaker names. Who honestly doesn't think that Icey Ice is the greatest performer name of all time?

Labels: Breakin, Dance, Electro, Retro

posted at 5:27 PM by Recon
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Top 10 Sentences From Third Rate SF Stories

I don't read nearly enough Sci Fi. I need to get on that. Judging from this list, I am missing out on alot of quality entertainment. Here's #10:

"As he was led to die in an arcane alien ritual, Tank McPhoton tried one last time to apologize. How was he to know that what he took to be an extended hand of friendship which he gripped firmly and shook vigorously was actually the Supreme Ruler’s private parts?"

Check out the whole list HERE.

(via Cynical C)

Labels: Sci Fi

posted at 4:52 PM by Recon
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Reason #437 Why Sumo Wrestling Is Boss

When fat guys in diapers hit each other, cool stuff always happens.

Labels: Sumo

posted at 4:31 PM by Recon
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EXA TV: David Elsewhere

What better way to start off the week than by watching the magic kid with liquid awesome inside his robotic limbs bring the pop locking ruckus to the sounds of Herbie Hancock. About half way through the video, witness him unleash the motherfucking moonwalk going forwards and try not to punch yourself in the face.

More from the same ad campaign HERE and HERE.

Labels: cool, Dance, David Elsewhere

posted at 3:44 PM by Recon
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Thursday, March 01, 2007

Fo Drizzle

Labels: pictures

posted at 3:43 PM by Recon
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Strong Kids, Safe Kids!

You have to watch this cringeworthy PSA for kids featuring none other than the Fonz himself. In it, everyone from Fred Flinstone to John Ritter warn kids about the danger of the plethora of baby petters, pervos, and chester molesters out to get them. Once the guy who looks like Steve Carrell started singing about penises and vulvas, I knew there was no turning back. Creeptacular. Enjoy.

(via Mefi)

Labels: 80's, creepy, PSA

posted at 3:06 PM by Recon
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The Deadly Art Of Kite Flying

Pakistan: 11 Die in Kite Festival

At least 11 people died in an annual two-day kite festival in Punjab Province. Officials said two died after their throats were cut by kite strings made of wire, used to damage rival kites. Five died after being hit by celebratory gunshots, and two people were electrocuted trying to untangle kites from overhead power cables. Two others fell from roofs. The police arrested more than 700 people for using sharpened kite strings or firing guns. The authorities had temporarily lifted a ban on kite-flying that was imposed after deaths at last year’s festival.

(via NY Times via Cynical C)

Labels: kites, News, WTF

posted at 2:27 PM by Recon
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