High Fives All Around

Tomorrow is my last day of work before a nice vacation. And that my friends, is fucking fantastic. Hurray. High fucking five.

We just got an HD TV, and I have been watching The Olympics in super-punch-your eyes-out-crystal clear quality. It's like awesome Chinese people are actually playing ping-pong in my living room. Boss.

The Opening Ceremony looks like it was broadcast somewhere in the distant Chinese future. (Big shout outs to the "blue screen of death" making a cameo..Bill G.represent!)

(fig. a: The "Birds Nest", home of the Opening Ceremony. Also known as that thing that looks like an Alien rattan chair.)

Can I just say that watching Michael Phelps perform with robotic fucking precision and whip the monkey ass of the entire olympics while listening to "rap" on his Ipod is pretty top notch entertainment. That kid is like Kevin Costner in Waterworld (minus ear gills and receding hairline, plus bright future).

Speaking of swimming, My boy the Unbeatable Kid made a good point the other day: Sure Michael Phelps has won a ton of swimming events, but that's just it: they're all different variations of swimming. Think about it. Imagine if for the 100 meter dash the contestants could run and wave their arms around like a crazy person and they called it "crazy arms dash" and gave out separate medals just for that. The fastest person would still always still win. Hmmm. Unbeatable, you are definitely on to something. I smell conspiracy.

Speaking of Olympics, here's some Japanese people doing cool things:

Here's a man that captures the warrior spirit:

Hey ladies, do I have a catch for you:

He looks like an alternate on Fred Durst's bowling team.

Some randomness:

My absolute favorite new blog ever

The history of LSD in Comic Strip form

LP Cover Lover

Awesome Jeff Koons Yacht

Japanese Wrestler Demolition Crew

Invisible Wrestler Misutero

Messiah Remix Goes Off

New talent on 60 Minutes

Indexed

Jamaican Bobsled Team Represent

Scatmanson

Mr. Rogers B-Boy Special

And in tribute to all my dogs I'll no longer be walking, I give you the incomparable Basset Beat Box.

Happy Weekend to all.

Barack Roll'd

Three reasons why I'm voting for Obama:

1: He's never gonna give me up.
2: He's never gonna let me down.
3: He's never gonna run around and desert me.

(via Neatorama)

Super Psyched

Someone told me sometime recently but I can't remember who or when that I should talk about myself more on this site. Easier said than done.

I'm boring. Not C-Span or Ray Romano boring, but pretty fucking dull. But I suppose life is slightly less boring than usual lately so I figure what the hell..So I'm quitting my job as a dog walker and am about to start a program for screenwriting in a few weeks. I can honestly say that I'm geeked. Amped. Pumped. I feel like a horse jacked on German steroids at the gate at the Kentucky Derby. Pow. I want to administer the high-five to Robot Jesus while riding a Dinosaur through Rock N Roll town. So fucking excited. And I have to say that posting on M4H over the years has been the main reason I want to pursue it as a (gulp) career.

When I write it makes my brain feel like monkeys are playing floor hockey with lasersticks and fireballs inside my giant nerd head. And that sends a signal to my giant nerd face which makes it smile. So we'll see what happens. All I know is that for the next year all I'll be doing is writing. (Which means more nerd-farming over here, so hurray!) And I implore you, fellow monkiacs, to feel free to give me all your ideas for screenplays. I'll be sure to gracefully steal them with my trademark high-intensity style and panache. C'mon, people! Eye of the tiger! Let's take Hollywood by storm and spank its bloated, cocaine-filled face till it gives us what we want! (Candy, cigarettes, and cigarettes that taste like candy will suffice.)

Speaking of movies, here's something I'd like to see made into a movie:

"Akbar Does Ibiza". Call Hollywood.

And If I get the superskills, maybe I'll be able to make movies as awesome as these:

Why God, Why.

Off to school..

To get my mind right..

It'll be hard..

I must make sure to not to do Hood rat stuff with my friends..

Gotta eat right..

Make interesting new friends..

Maybe start an exercise program..

And always..always make sure to dance the beautiful dance.

Then one day, far down the road, once I make the big bucks..

I'll finally be able to kick back and relax.

(pics/links via myconfinedspace, afrojacks, yayhooray, neatorama, Byron Crawford, and PCL link dump...)

Vulcan Turntablism: New Hotness

Apparently this is some promo for Trek DVD's, but I could totally fucking care less. It achieves new levels of nerdery and awesomeness at the same time. I always knew Spock spit fire on the mic, but had no idea he wrecked the decks like he does. I bet Data would kill him on the scratch, though. Robots have the ill hand control.

(via Neatorama)

Journey FTW