Monkeys For Helping: High Fives All Around

Tomorrow is my last day of work before a nice vacation. And that my friends, is fucking fantastic. Hurray. High fucking five.

We just got an HD TV, and I have been watching The Olympics in super-punch-your eyes-out-crystal clear quality. It's like awesome Chinese people are actually playing ping-pong in my living room. Boss.

The Opening Ceremony looks like it was broadcast somewhere in the distant Chinese future. (Big shout outs to the "blue screen of death" making a cameo..Bill G.represent!)

(fig. a: The "Birds Nest", home of the Opening Ceremony. Also known as that thing that looks like an Alien rattan chair.)

Can I just say that watching Michael Phelps perform with robotic fucking precision and whip the monkey ass of the entire olympics while listening to "rap" on his Ipod is pretty top notch entertainment. That kid is like Kevin Costner in Waterworld (minus ear gills and receding hairline, plus bright future).

Speaking of swimming, My boy the Unbeatable Kid made a good point the other day: Sure Michael Phelps has won a ton of swimming events, but that's just it: they're all different variations of swimming. Think about it. Imagine if for the 100 meter dash the contestants could run and wave their arms around like a crazy person and they called it "crazy arms dash" and gave out separate medals just for that. The fastest person would still always still win. Hmmm. Unbeatable, you are definitely on to something. I smell conspiracy.

Speaking of Olympics, here's some Japanese people doing cool things: