Picture Of The Day

This is a picture of the "Pet Dry Room" from the FCI Seoul International Dog show. Inside the "room", infrared radiation helps to fast dry your canine and prevent skin rashes.

From the looks of it, that poodle is going to bite the crotch of whoever opens the door. The good news is it will probably bite a poodle owner.

(via eyebeam reblog)

The Dr. Hate Diet

So the other day someone I know very well pitched me this concept for a fast weight loss diet based on the idea of hating yourself, and I thought it would make a funny blog. Hence this plug.

It's called the Dr. Hate diet, and it's the new diet crazy seducing self-hating bloggers everywhere. The premise: "Channel the hate, lose the weight." Eat cereal 3 times a day, and hate your body and food to become a smaller you. And to my pleasant surprise, it just got featured on Screenhead and Milk and Cookies, so I now plan on going full steam with it.. So please visit and feel free to leave hateful comments for the good doctor!!!

Click the pic and let the hate begin!!!

*UPDATE* Site is working now, so check it out!

Picture Of The Day

I've had this picture for a while, and had to post it specifically so you can help me find out what the hell is the story behind this. My guess is they are part of a rodeo clown fraternity and this is a strange part of their ritual hazing. And is that Yakov Smirnoff on the right? I'm so confused...

(via Snapsoid)

Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt

Like it or not, Steven Seagal is a cultural icon. Some call him a poor man's Jackie Chan, others a rich man's Jean Claude Van Damme. I like to think of him as being in a league of his own. And in a world of one-trick pony action stars, he's truly a Renaissance man.

(Steven Seagal: Panda lover, guitar shredder, face destroyer)

No one does violence like Steven Seagal. And his movie lines are tremendous. Some of his masterful movie moments:

From Hard To Kill:

Senator Vernon Trent: "You can take that to the bank!"

Seagal: "I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. To the blood bank!"

From Marked For Death:

Drug Dealer: "Hey, you want some blow?"

Seagal: "Yeah, I want some blow. Put your hands where I can see 'em or I'm gonna blow your head off."

Also from Marked For Death:

Seagal: "You bailed out a Jamaican street named Monkey the other day, I want him. This other piece of shit, Screwface, I want him. I know you're a scumbag and a puke, I don't mind that, but give me what I need and I'll leave here a nice guy. If you don't, I'm gonna fuck you up."

No that's poetry. All I know is I learned how to break peoples arms in several different ways watching his movies, and any guy who kills the final bad guy by stabbing a knife into the top of their head is a winner to me. No matter how bad his movies are, I'll always have a place in my heart for him.

And now, after all his life's accomplishments, Steven Seagal has gone the Lil' Jon route and created his own energy Drink. Forget Red Bull. It's all about LIGHTNING BOLT!

(Click to feel the power!)

From the website: Lightning Bolt Energy Drink™ is the result of Seagal’s travels in Asia in search of the ingredients believed to keep many locals disease-free for life. Seagal says he discovered the benefits of Asian Cordyceps (one of the most rare and treasured herbs used in Chinese and Tibetan medicine for thousands of years) while researching immune builders in Asia. They promote energy, vitality and longevity. Other unique ingredients of the drink include the Tibetan Goji Berry, a powerful anti-oxidant, patented process cane juice concentrate which contain naturally occurring policosanols. Policosanols have been found to lower cholesterol. Lightning Bolt is the first energy drink made from 100% juice, all natural with no sugar added and also contains B3, B6, B12 and B5.

“I have traveled the world creating this drink; there is none better that I know ” says Seagal, who frequented Tibet and Japan in the 1960s and 1970s while learning Buddhism and martial arts. “I have included in this drink everything I could to strengthen the body.”

Lightning Bolt is truly a new generation of Gourmet Energy Drink due to the appealing taste and health benefits.

Whatever, all that is nonsense to me. But if it makes me an arm-breaking killing machine, I'll take a case!!! Oh man, I can't wait for the commercials for this!!!

(via linkfilter)

International Monkey Power!

Boy oh boy. The internet is awesome. I installed this site meter thingy a few weeks ago, and there is this cool map feature that tells you where people are visiting from. I am blown away by some of these places! It's so cool that my gay words and stupid pictures are being seen by people all over the world. I feel like I'm on that creepy ride at Disney It's a Small World where those demon-faced cherubic mannequins sing to you in all different languages from around the globe, except that ride scared the shit out of me out and this makes me happy. I've kept track over the last few weeks, and aside from the States, you folks are coming from some far reaching places...Namely:

Delhi, India
Tokyo, Japan
The Phillipines
Queensland, Melbourne Australia
Hong Kong, China
Madrid, Castilla La Mancha, Spain
Zurich Switzerland
Athens, Greece
Sao Paolo, Brazil
Cairo, Egypt
Limburg, Netherlands
Reykjavk, Iceland
Laufamholz, Hamburg Germany
Lambeth + London, United Kingdom
Stockholm, Sweden
Assels, Brussels Belgium
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Valparaso, Chile
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Moscow, Russia

So in honor of your fine countries and in the spirit of education, I shall attempt to translate the only word that matters in English into your native tongues for the benefit of us silly Americans and those readers who wish to expand their simian knowledge:

America, Canada: Monkey
India: Bandara
Japan: Saru
Phillipines: Unggoy
Australia: Tree Dingo
China: Hóu zi
Spain: Mono
Switzerland: Schimgia
Greece: Pithikos
Brazil: Macaco
Netherlands: Aap
Iceland: Api
Germany: Affe
United Kingdom: Cheeky Monkey
Sweden: Apekatt
Belgium: Singe
Saudi Arabia: سَعْدان
Russia: обезьяна

Hurray! The Internet has brought us all together. Unlike Whitney Houston, I believe the children aren't our future. It's the monkeys that will bring us all together.

In closing...

Here's a Monkey washing a cat. (classic)



Hulk Hogan being a Pastamaniac..



Bush and his cabinet..




The Soccer Hooligan Backwards Nut kick ® ...



And lastly, The Spiders performing the "The Monkey Dance"..

Goodnight, world!

Picture Of The Day

I don't know what's better..The fact that the mascot is groping cheerleaders, or the fact that their team name is "Nippon Ham Fighters".

Japan, I love you more than you could possibily imagine.

(via Geisha Asobi)

Dick Cheney: "Go F--k Yourself"

Dick Cheney. Jesus. Just look at him. The man is so evil he can't even smile without showing signs of severe physical anguish. Judging from that satanic grimace, human warmth and positive emotional expression make his heart seize up. I think he had two heart attacks in this picture alone.

Just like Mumra from the Thundercats, Dick managed to crawl out of his fortified crypt deep within Cheyenne Mountain to mingle with the proles of Katrina-ravaged Mississippi and pretend to care about their shattered lives and pose like a bloated show pony for a few photo ops.

figure A: Cheney, Mumra

Luckily for us, someone in Mississippi doesn't like Mr. Cheney, and promptly tells him to "Go Fuck Himself". Here's the link to the video and story... His response is priceless..

First Shep Smith gets tooled, now this. It takes brass balls to tell off The devil. Cheney probably had his family liquidated for such insolence.

(NSFW)

(via Crooks and Liars)

Picture Of The Day

Chinese schoolgirl Wang Wenting has invented a pair of shoes that enable her to walk on water. She says she got her inspiration from watching ducks.

Question: What's with the Solid Gold dancers on the bridge?

Tarzan craze in Switzerland

A new extreme sport which involves swinging Tarzan-style from tree-to-tree is the latest craze in Switzerland.

Thousands of people are flocking to special parks to try the new adrenalin sport 100 feet above the ground.

It involves people launching themselves off specially constructed wooden platforms in the treetops and swinging on a harness to the next tree.

Adventure parks in the country's Alpine mountains have reported soaring visitor numbers as the craze took hold this summer.

Rolf Ryser, manager and instructor at the Seilpark Gantrisch park just outside Bern, said: "People have changed the way they spend their leisure time.

"They want new challenges, to become more active and do something to get their hearts beating faster."

Enthusiast Jeannette Grindat said: "It demands full concentration so you don't have any time to think about how high you are, or what it would be like to fall. You're really pushed to the limit."

(via Ananova)

Mustache Battle!

Well it's that time again. Time for me to scramble to find something to blog about. When I can't think of anything to write, I stare at a wall until my eyes go numb and think about life's anomalies. I ponder important questions like why aren't there contact lenses for dogs, and why is it that you never see baby pigeons..But inevitably, I find myself thinking of mustaches.

I don't need to tell you why Mustaches are so great. If you're reading this, you probably have one, have had one, or secretly want one, even if you're a girl. So in the theme of our previous asshole and hair battles, I ask you fine people this important question:

Which Mustache reigns supreme?

#1: Baron Von Octostache

This guy is a fucking champ. The M4H mustache committee almost didn't clear said gentleman for competition due to the beard/mustache combo, but in the end, all agreed that the beard portion of his face drape could easily be the second and third tiers of the original mustache, and therefore the baron was eligible for battle. His likes are Kayaking, Reese Witherspoon, and rock climbing with his face.

#2: Dingo McSwigs Alot

We found this fine contender face down in a booze puddle at a Bavarian beer garden around the way, and had to enter him in the competition. When he isn't out drinking himself to death, he spends his days fighting Grizzly Bears, terrorizing school children, and slapping Crocodiles on the mouth. Legend says he once punched a rock and made it cry. Like the elusive Yeti, few sightings of him have been verified as authentic. This is the only picture we could get of him. He bit the cameraman's nose off shortly after it was taken.

#3: Conan the Handlebarbarian

The current favorite in our hair of-the-face race, this man makes Tom Selleck look like a 14 year-old middle schooler with a 2-day-old shit stache. He is clearly the one to beat today, folks. Let's see if the competition can take him out.

So there are your three contestants. Yet only one mustache can be the victor. I leave it up to you to decide. Let the games begin!

Picture Of The Day

Finally we know who let the dogs out.

Ask Dr. Dre

Unresolved issues? Trouble at home? Do you have questions you need answers to that you can't ask just anyone? Dr. Dre is here for you. Listen up, homie. Dr. Phil don't even respect your ass. That's why it's time for the Doctor to check your ass..

(via themanwhofellasleep)

Picture Of The Day

M4H presents: Forbidden Love: The wild women of Alderan and the Wookies who love them.

Shep Smith-Owned

It's pretty safe to assume that Satan masturbates to Fox News. Watching their "Fair and Balanced" coverage of pretty much anything is like having Amazonian fire ants crawl into my eyes and chew on my brain.

Shepard Smith is a mega douche. In Asshole rank, I put him a close second right behind Bill O'Reilly. I really don't know why I hate him so, but his dead eyes make him look like a gay android, and he isn't afraid to say blowjob on the air without getting the FCC Michael Powell reaming Howard Stern got.

This clip made my day a whole lot brighter.

Shepard Smith, doing live interviews on the street in New Orleans asks a man why he's still there, and his response is "None of your fucking business."

Priceless.

Watch it here: Quicktime

WMV

(via Crooks And Liars)